The Old Timers Club

[Seminole Red]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be
referred to as:
'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
 
 
And furthermore,
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. '
 
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
 

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
 

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
 

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
 
 
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
 
 
 
 
 
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
 

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
 

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
 

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
 

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)
 

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'
(Loved this one even more!)