Any Good Jokes?

[Quintessence]

School absence excuses from parents:

Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

I kept Susie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forget to get the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.