Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.

A book just fell on my head.
I've only got my shelf to blame.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.

Squalid: a hat worn by a Native American woman

Potash: what's left after you smoke a joint

Ostracized: having the same dimensions as an ostrich

Microfiche: sardines

Khaki: a device for starting a vehicle

Heroes: what a guy in a boat does

Deliberate: take back to prison

Castrate: hotel room price for actors

Broadband: an all-girl musical group

Allegro: one leg becoming longer than the other

The worst thing about parallel parking are witnesses.