Really wish I was in Philly this week.
Democrat Convention Schedule
Monday, July 25, 2016
11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.
1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants.
3:15 PM
Address on "Being the Real You"
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and
Caitlyn Jenner
4:30 PM
"How to Bank $200 Million as a
Public Servant and claim to be broke"
Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM
How to have a successful career
Without ever having a job, and
Still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to
Army deserter Bo Bergdahl
For serving with Honor and Distinction
National Security Advisor Susan Rice
5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Hillary and
Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia
6:30 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters,
And on using the terminology
"Alternative Shoppers" instead of “Looters"
7:30 PM
Breakout session with Bill Clinton
For women on avoiding the upcoming draft
8:30 PM
The White House "Semantics Committee" Meeting
General vote on re-branding "Muslim Terrorism" as
"Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance"
9:00 PM
"Liberal Bias in Media“ How we can make it work for you!
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS,
The Washington Post and the New York Times
With Guest Speaker, Brian Williams
9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters
Still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore
9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar -
"Businesses Don't Create Jobs"
Special guest Pocahontas
aka Elizabeth Warren
11:00 PM
Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal
Email Server While Serving in A
Cabinet Post and How to Pretend
It's No Big Deal"
Hosted by Hillary Clinton
11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews
Successful Trading is the art of minimizing long term risk and maximizing capital allocation.
