Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My son is allergic to cotton. He has pills that he can take, but he can't get them out of the bottle.

My wife accused me of having OCD.
I immediately put her in her place.

For me, doing projects around the house is like
playing blackjack in a casino. The house always wins.

Remember..........smoking doesn't kill people.
Those who are trying to quit smoking kill people.

I just applied for a job as a street sweeper.
I asked what skills I would need. They said none; you just pick it up as you go along.