I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive.
Statistics show most Siamese twins are up for a threesome.
Why do people say marriage is so hard? I've successfully completed 3 of them...
They lie about marijuana... "Marijuana makes you unmotivated." That’s a lie. When you're high you can do anything you normally do just as well, you just realize it's not worth the effort. There's a difference.
I got drunk last night... and my house wasn't where I left it.
I’m a recovering alcoholic... recovering from last night!
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