Doctor: "The best time to take a bath is just before retiring." Me: "You mean I don't need to take another bath 'til I'm 65?" Doctor: "Have you ever given yourself a prostate exam?" Me: "Not deliberately, but my wife sometimes buys cheap toilet paper." Doctor: "Sir, your check came back." Me: "So did my arthritis." Why did the doctor make a lousy kidnapper? Nobody could read his ransom notes. Head nurse: "The patient doesn't seem to be doing very well with his new drip." Other nurse: "No, I think he'd be better off with his old doctor."