Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

It wasn't school that I hated...................
just the principal of it.

What do you get when you cross PMS
with GPS? A crazy bitch who will find you.

OK, so maybe .....................
"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" wasn't the most sensitive thing to say.

Before plastic surgery, my wife used to look her age. Now she doesn't even look her species.

I called the vet to complain about his
excessive fees. He put the phone down...............as quickly and humanely as possible.

My budgie broke his leg, so I made him a
splint out of two matchsticks. You should have seen his face light up when he tried to walk.