Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

West Side Story gave me the wrong impression.
No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.

I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission.
Who the hell is 'Foreclosure’?

Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs.
I couldn't do it.
My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.

"Hermit crab" describes me twice.