Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 500 miles away. That's a bit far-fetched.

I made my wife's dreams come true
by marrying her in a castle, although you wouldn't have thought it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around.

I tried becoming a vegetarian, but then I
realized that was a huge missed steak.

Did you hear about the guy who crossed the Atlantic Ocean twice without taking a shower? He was a dirty double-crosser.

Last week, I went on a trip to a postcard
factory. It was OK, but nothing to write home about.