Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My wife and I were on safari in Africa
when we saw lion tracks. I said to my wife: "You see where they go, and I'll find out where they came from."

Last night, I watched a compelling documentary about sniffing adhesives. I was glued to the screen.

Why won't Homer Simpson eat toast?
Because he can't bear the thought of having to spread marge.

A few days ago, I bought a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. Today I lost it.

A mute incontinent: goes without saying.

Did you hear about the Russian abortion clinic? There's a 12-month waiting list.