Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

After a night of heavy drinking, I woke up next to a really ugly woman. That's when I knew I'd made it home safely.

I knew a woman who was so ugly,
she had to hand out whistles to construction workers.

I was just declared legally blind.
I can see perfectly, but my wife came with me to the appointment and the eye doctor put two and two together.

Fairbanks, Alaska just passed a law banning
all dogs. In the future, it will be known as Dogless, Fairbanks.

I met my wife while working as a travel agent.
She was looking for a vacation, and I was the last resort.