Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Having sex in an elevator...
is wrong on so many levels.

The biggest difference between men and women...
is what comes to mind when the word “Facial” is used.

I’m waiting to hear those three special words...
"there's no evidence"

Pillow fights...
didn't last as long in the Stone Age.

I don’t understand why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

I recently had to evict my relative again
from a rental house I own. I now refer to him as my cousin, twice removed.