Excel's Coffee Shop

[excel]

You know you’re a cop when...

1. You’ve thrown a recently purchased beverage out the window because you just got a hot call.
2. You’re the only person at the party who is introduced to others by your profession.
3. You’ve had a cold beer after getting home from work, even though it’ seven in the morning.
4. You’ve had pizza (or some other food) delivered to a cordoned-off crime scene.
5. You’ve eaten a sandwich next to the coroner, while they’re examining the body on the slab.
6. You’ve got a permanent “farmer's tan” on your left arm.
7. You regularly pay the check BEFORE the meal arrives in case you have to leave for a hot call.
8. You’ve said to a colleague, “Things with me and my ex-wife / ex-husband are awful right now...” and your partner replied quickly back, “Be more specific. Which one?”
9. You’ve heard more than one person say “You’ve got to believe me. These aren’t my pants.”
10. You’ve heard a parent tell a kid, “You’d better behave or that police officer will take you to jail.”
11. You’ve brought a new gun to work, showed it off to your colleagues, and you didn’t get fired.
12. You've knocked on an elderly person’s door — doing a welfare check a half hour before the end of your shift — muttering under your breath, “Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead.”
13. You’ve heard “I only had two beers” from more people than you can count — and every last one of them had way more than just two beers.
14. You’ve responded to a citizen claiming to have “had only two beers” by saying, “Yes, the first and the last, but how many beers were in between?” and/or “How big were those two beers?”
15. You’ve added the following like of inquiry to your field sobriety tests: “This question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”