Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I knew I had arrived at a great hunting
spot when I saw the sign: "Fine for Hunting"

Defendant: "I don't recognize this court!"
Judge: "Why not?"
Defendant: "Because you've had it redecorated since I was last here."

My wife is leaving me because I believe
everything I read on the Internet. I'll be fine, though, because apparently there are some sexy Russian girls living in my area.

My wife claims she's as bright as the brightest star in the night sky. I said: "Are you Sirius?"

I'm so bright...
My dad calls me Sonny...

My wife thinks we should sleep in separate beds
....................so I've chosen the blonde's next door.

Novice skydiver: "If my main parachute doesn't
open and my reserve chute doesn't open either, how long until I hit the ground?"
Instructor: "The rest of your life."

What do you get if you cross a skunk
with a hot-air balloon? Something that stinks to high heaven.

I just bought my wife a genuine
Native American washing machine.
A rock.