My wife complained that I treat her like a child. I didn't know how to react, so I gave her a gold star and a smiley face sticker for standing up for herself.
My wife and I carry on like a house on fire. We both feel trapped, and are slowly suffocating to death.
Wife: "One more word from you
and I'm going back to my mother."
Me: "Taxi."
To some, marriage is just a word. To me, it's a sentence.
If you don't think women are explosive,
try dropping one.
My wife came home Sunday afternoon to find the
kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but drink beer and watch football all day.
She yelled, "Watch yourself, mister, or you're going to make me do something I don't want to do." "
"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a blowjob out of this."
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
Do infants enjoy infancy
as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do kleptomaniacs
help themselves, because they can't help themselves?
I actually saw some moron
put a bottle of water where the pringles can go on the treadmill.
All the time my granddad was in the army his wife sent him nagging letters. He couldn't even enjoy the war in peace.
