Finally, the relatives of the inventor of the clock have released his autobiography. It's about time.
Daughter: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Well, why don't you ask your sister?"
Daughter: "But I don't have a ..........................
I was taking a driving lesson when
the instructor said, "You need to change gear." I said, "Sorry, I just feel more comfortable dressed as a scuba diver."
I broke my leg and the doctor said
he was going to put me in a cast. How does he expect me to sing and dance in this condition?
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau
to file a report. No one was there.
Recently, two cartoonists entered
a contest. The result was a draw.
Why did Gateway Computers go out of business? Because they led to stronger and more addictive computers.
If tomatoes are classified as
a fruit, doesn't that mean ketchup is technically a smoothie?
The difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey! You! Get offa my cloud."
and a Scotsman says "Hey! McCloud! Get offa my ewe!"
