Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Red Bull and Vodka… <
because you want to be wide awake for this mistake.

It's never appropriate to show cleavage...
at the office. I wish someone would tell the guy down the hall.

How to win an argument with a woman:
1. Too late, you're already wrong.

The pen is mightier than the sword and I'm generous. So if we ever duel, I'll let you have the pen.

I quit my job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: "This isn't for me."

It's been a lifetime struggle
for me to stop spending my lifetime struggling.

Irony: working for an
aluminum company and getting canned.

Someone called me gay for wearing heels the other day, but I wasn't about to wear sneakers with that dress.

I got slapped by the new girl at work today. I only asked if she spits or swallows. It seemed like a reasonable question considering we work as wine tasters.