How to handle telemarketers...
Them: Hello sir, would you be willing to take a short survey?
Me: Absolutely! We here at Evermoon Consulting are always ready to provide opinion based data to our clients.
Them: Um… Ok, The survey just takes five minutes and when finished you are entered into a drawing to win a 3 day vacation to Cancun.
Me: Our usual renumeration per our standard service agreement is all that is required. However please be aware that our minimum billable period is one hour and this call will be billed for an hour of service even if only five minutes is used.
Them: No sir, this will only take five minutes of your time, not an hour.
Me: I understand, however your firm will still be billed for the minimum one hour as per our service agreement. That comes to $225. How would you like to take care of this today? Do you have a billing account number set up with us already? If so, I just need the corporate code for your company.
Them: I don’t have that information….
Me: That’s alright sir. We can set this up to be charged on a company credit card for a small fee. Your total will be $257.98. Go ahead and give me the credit card number and expiration date if you please.
Them: We aren’t paying $257 for this call.
Me: Oh, you are absolutely correct sir! I just realized that we are talking after 6pm CDT, so we are now on “premium time”. Thank you, sir for reminding me. You total will actually be $517.54.
Them: What? The law says that we can call until 9pm.
Me: Of course it does sir. And Evermoon Consulting prides itself on meeting our customer’s needs 24 hours a day, but according to our service agreement, between 6pm and 6am is designates as premium time. I am ready for that credit card number now.
Them: Look, I didn’t call you, a computer did.
Me: Oh, I see. I guess I will have to add your company to our auto-dialer. With that fee your new total is $759.99. What are the first four digits of the credit card you would like to use, please?
Them: Hold on for my supervisor please.
Me: Ok.
Supervisor: Hello sir, I understand that there is a problem?
Me: No sir, no problem at all. Your total charges for premium time consulting, auto-dialer charge, supervisor respondent fee and credit card processing is $1163.67
Supervisor: $1163? For what?
Me: For our consulting services on your survey of course. What method of payment will you be using today?
**Click**
