Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I woke up today with with some guy banging on my window. It really ticked me off because there were two other tellers who could have cashed his check.

My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop treating her like a child. And for that comment, I had to put her in a time out.

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Finding a vein in your hot dog.

I decided to join AA ( Automobile Association ). I'm now on the road to recovery.

I used to date a pedophile,
But I was young and naïve back then.

Everyone says stealing
is wrong. Personally, I don't buy it.

Two flies land on the collar of a pro golfer and one says, "What brings you to this neck of the Woods."

Went to Victoria's Secret today
I heard bras and panties were half off.

I cannot find my prosthetic legs.
I've searched everywhere and have no idea where I put them.
I'm totally stumped.