"I want frog legs." Fancy restaurant order or the coolest plastic surgery request ever.
Example of men's inability to understand women:
Her: "I have Nothing To Wear!!"
Him: "Awesome!"
Me: C'mon, baby…just the tip?
Her: No!
Me: Awww, c'mon!
Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
Historic moments in rap:
Jay W [username taken]
Jay X [username taken]
Jay Y [username taken]
Jay Z
My wife worked a 12-hour day...
and I asked "what was for dinner", I explain to the other homeless people.
I notice you only call when you want something.
Person calling: "Sir your bill is 90 days past due."
My heart will go on,
but my liver stopped at a bar.
If you think Pi is 3142,
then you're missing the point.
I'm convinced that my washing machine...
is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks.
I try contributing to society…
but it keeps insisting I take it back.
To whoever doubted me, all I have to say to you
...lucky guess.
They're thinking of ... impeaching Obama.
It would be unpresidented.
I always thought Trotsky was the name of Lenin's horse.
Unfortunately telling all those religious jokes got me put on the Sects Offenders List.
