The 10th Sikh Rifles drilled during the monsoon.
Just another case of Singh in the rain.
A man walks into a library and says, "I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology."
I must admit I've got a
thing for fat women. It's called a gastric band.
My wife told me to get on the Internet and buy something that would make me last longer in bed. I ordered sleeping pills.
Roses are blue,
violets are red. Oh shit, my 3D glasses are on backwards.
I invented gloves.
OK, I'm lying, but I did have a hand in it.
Needles to say,
I don't like syringes.
I love make-up sex with my wife. I don't really like the eyeliner she makes me put on though.
I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.
I once had a gastric band...
but people just couldn't stomach our music !
Wedding rehearsals…
because ruining your life takes practice.
I thought my vasectomy...
would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
I've been known to seize the day…
but mostly I just hug it like a tired boxer holds onto his opponent when he knows the fight's almost over.