My earliest memory is nine months before I was born. I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
I remember a story handed down by my great, great, great,
great grandfather. When interviewed in the early 1800's about
the British navy, he said he was very impressed.
Build a man a fire
and you keep him warm. Set a man on fire......................... and you get one phone call.
What I love doing more
than anything: trying to pack myself into a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
I love the look on people's faces,
standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past. It's partly why I became a bus driver.
Thank you for your automated
e-mail from "do not reply". Permit me to introduce you to my automated filter, "did not read."
The three stages of my sex life:
Tri-weekly, try weekly, and try weakly.
A one-armed elderly man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrass the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter escort the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
