A guy walks in and sits down at a bar...
The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?"
The guy says "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend because I called her a two-bit whore."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "I don't blame her. But that's quite a bruising you've got there. What in the world did she hit you with? A baseball bat?"
"No," said the guy. "She hit me with a sackful of quarters."