A young korean couple are lying in bed
when the guy starts farting continuously.
"That's disgusting!" shouts the girl.
"It's the dog," proclaims the guy.
"Don't blame him," she replies, "he was cooked perfectly."
You need to diet! You dance and it makes the band skip. * You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. * You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. * You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. * Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." * You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture. * You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth. * You could sell shade. * Your blood type is Ragu. * You need an appointment to attend an 'open house'.
You know you're fat when:
You can pinch an inch on your forehead.
You need a bra for both sides.
Your scale reads "One at a time please"
You walk into a bakery and the pastries tremble in fear.
Famous last words:
What does this button do?
I've seen this done on TV before.
Pull the pin and count to what?
Are you sure the power is off?
Don't worry, it's fireproof.
I wonder where the mother bear is?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
Good doggie, nice doggie...................................
"Hold my drink, watch this "
