Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I don't remember much about last night...
but the fact that I needed sunglasses just to open the refrigerator this morning tells me it was awesome.

The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick.
Two women trying to kill each other over a pair of shoes.

All you need to know about Canadians...
is that their military bases close for snow days.

When it comes to telling a joke...
opportunity Knock Knocks.

I've seen The Blair Witch Project...
and that's all I need to know about camping.

Ever just stare into the sunset and think...
"I locked the door, right?"

I have no one to blame for my mistakes
but everyone else...

Reality sucks the fun out of life.

I went to a psychiatrist about my fear... of lying on couches and disclosing highly personal feelings. Didn't go well.

A pretty important part of being a dad...
is waiting in the car.