Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A thief who was
stealing ladies' underwear evaded capture today. He gave police the slip.

Got thrown in jail last night
for refusing to sleep. They charge me with resisting a rest.

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

Listen up: I wear the pants in this family.
They’re a lovely taffeta with a subtle flare to draw attention to my lace-up sandals.

"Ohhhh!! I didn't hear the 'lasting more than
four hours' part. I'm sorry I called you at home, doctor."

This new thesaurus isn't just terrible,
it's also terrible.

WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM!

Practice safe eating..................use condiments.

I'd give my right arm...............
to be ambidextrous.

If guys had periods.................
they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

Exaggeration is...................
a billion times worse than understatement.

Nonconformists................ are all alike.