Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

What do you call a pill
that is a combination of aphrodisiac and laxative? Easy come, easy go.

Apparently when your girlfriend asks
which of her friends you would like to have a threesome with, you are only supposed to say one name.

I told you ill be there in 5 minutes. Stop calling me every half an hour.

Shouting "put your hands in the air
like you just don't care!" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery.

Will be tailgating outside the art museum tomorrow.
needed: 6 people to paint their chests & help me spell out PICASSO.

I'm so poor...
I'm taking a vacation on Google Street View this year.

I got a restraining order from the Costco bagel sample lady.

I'm old enough to remember when there was
only one fat kid in class photos.

When I first got my puppy I called him Barky Bark.
Now he's grown up, so he's just Bark Wahlberg.