Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Just bought a sandwich at the airport
so gonna have to put off buying a house for a while.

It's weird how we are all here because of boners.

"I hope these bad jokes distract you from
the fact you're getting screwed."
- Car insurance commercials

Whoever coined the phrase
"smooth as a baby's bottom" must have been a real creep.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if
you crushed his spirit by telling him how worthless he was and deprived him of a good education?

Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?

The last four letters of the word "queue" are
just there because they saw a queue forming and hoped it was for something good.

One time I asked "What would Jesus do?" and then
a close friend betrayed me & everyone started misinterpreting what I said for their own gain.

My favorite Kardashian is the one who dies first.

Sleep - That fleeting moment that ends alarmingly.

Wholesale - Where a gopher goes to buy a home

Toad - What happens to an illegally parked frog.

Polarize - What penguins see with.

Marriage - A romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Pasteurize - Too far to see.

Ostrasized - The same size as an ostrich.

Lactose - Consequence of frostbite