My wife asked me,
"If you could know exactly how, when and where you were going to
die, would you want to know ?"
I said "No, I don't think so".
She said "Forget it then."
I play in a band that plays
Classic Progressive Rock to prisoners as they walk to the Electric Chair.
We're called Deathrow Tull
According to reports,
Americans will spend $700 million on their pets this Valentine’s
Day.
Said your dog, “This is moving a little fast, what ever happened to man’s best FRIEND?”
If you lead a horse to pretzels
and then to water, he will definitely drink.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where two dudes hold hands.
My wife was so sick this morning, I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
I guess I'm just "ok" at being self-deprecating.
I hope when they find the cure for cancer,
it's gluten free, otherwise no thanks.
The secret to making a truly tasty vegan burger
is to use beef.
I'm going to start telling women
that I'm available for a limited time only and hope that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Oscar-nominated actor Benedict
has apologized for referring to black actors as “colored” in a recent appearance on a U.S. talk show.
But, on the plus side, now we’ll get to hear Al Sharpton try to
pronounce “Benedict Cumberbatch.”
Road Crossing Instructions in Syria:
"Look both right and left for cars, motorcycles, animals and
pedestrians, look up for American drones, down for bombs and land
mines, side and back for kidnappers and suicide bombers, hold your
bags tight and watch every person near you...then walk zigzag to
avoid bullets."
AI
