Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners.
You must abstain from sex for an entire month."

The couple agreed but after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church.

When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the
husband obviously was very depressed.

"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex
for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened .

" Well, the first week was difficult. We managed, however, to abstain
through sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of
prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable.

We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our
minds free of carnal thoughts.

But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When
she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't have panties on and I
was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there,"
admitted the man, shamefacedly .

"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated
the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head .

"We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either."