Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and as he does, his elbow hits her in the breast, startling both of them.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'aam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in Room 1128.

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub.
An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' replied the old man.
'Poor old fool' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.
Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, ‘And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth.'

Why everyone can't have smartphones.
Somebody has to blow the horn at green lights.