Breaking up is hard to do.
Have to unfriend, unTriberr, de-Google+, ex-Pinterest, unfollow, de-list, uninstagram, LinkOut, unstumble…
Rather than being a “taker”...
I prefer to think of myself as an enabler for givers.
Who looks in haystacks for needles anyway?
I hate when my wife accuses me of something...
I didn’t think she knew about.
Did you know you're never stuck in traffic?
YOU ARE THE TRAFFIC!
I got hurt while studying abroad.
Her husband didn't like it.
>A young, pregnant newlywed was visiting her doctor for a maternity checkup.
>
>The doctor checked her out and knowing this was her first child asked her
>if she had any questions.
>
>The young woman blushed and said, "...er...Doctor, my husband wanted to
>know...ah...how long I can continue to ah...er..."
>
>"Now, now," said the doctor in reassuring tones. "I know what you are
>asking. You can continue to have sex with your husband until the third
>trimester."
>"Oh no, Doctor. That's not what my husband wanted to know.
He wanted to know how much longer I could mow the lawn."
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the woman “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and said, “No, he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”
