At the risk of offending my fans, I finally bought an air conditioner
Politics is an "I'm not an a**hole" contest for a**holes.
Have a burning hatred for questions and people?
YOU could be a medical receptionist!
Not feeling great about how much scrolling down I have to do to get to my birth year.
Ladies, do you like the strong, silent type?
Then you'll love my farts.
In the 50's the pot called the kettle a different word.
I wish I was able to say as many things with a simple 'mmmmhhhmmmmm' as your average elderly black woman.
Why do aliens always disembark via ramp? Do they have problems with stairs?
Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible?
I saw a list of what things cost in the 1930s.
Great Depression or not, I find it hard to believe people couldn't afford a 20 cent steak.
So Stub Hub isn't a dating site for quadriplegics?
After reviewing my life, God may very well issue another 5 to 10 commandments.
Sorry, guys.
Do we even know if ducks can fart?
We should put a guy on that.
There's a new Starbucks opening down the street.
I WONDER WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE.
