Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

Dear neighbor
who mows his yard early in the morning tomorrow,
I found my bagpipes for tonight.

Why doesn't someone invent
a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?

When I text you a whole paragraph
and you text me back 40 minutes later saying "K." Are you asking to be punched?

If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember...no one loves you on the other days of the year either.

Subway is similar to prostitution.
You pay other people to do your wife's job.

Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes.
Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings...

Sitting in a Bar nursing a beer. damn my nipples are soaked!