Redneck

[wzebra33]

Redneck blenders

[wzebra33]

Campground road warrior

[wzebra33]

Splitting some wood.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=100_1242544943

[lacymarie]

Two Polocks are sitting in a boat.

Stanley asks Tony, "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off 'der boat?"

To which Tony replies, "Well, you know, if they fell forwards they'd still be in 'da fuckin' boat!"

There ya have it...

[wzebra33]

Redneck water skying
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1bb_1262150388

[Fishin' Canuck]

Deny deny deny!

lol

[lacymarie]

Funny thing about it is I watched him do it and he denied it..LOL He is 78 years old so I let it go.

[Fishin' Canuck]

Ouch!

[lacymarie]

Very funny "Dadgummit"! I can relate to the ending. A couple months ago, my dad in law accidentally put his four wheeler in reverse and backed into my car.

[wzebra33]

Fishing bloopers
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5db_1260341839

[lacymarie]

Ole and Sven were fishing in the Minnesota opener when Sven pulled out a cigar.

Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.

'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.



'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'

'Vell,' replied Ole, I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.

'Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.

'Could I see him?'

Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.


Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.



The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... Flying directly overhead.




Over the roar of the million ducks,
Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy,
I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'

Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"

[TTT]

When it is time to finally admit that you are a "Northern Redneck":

When your wife and her aunt call 'QVC' to order, just to hear each others' voices on TV. lol

[wzebra33]

Red neck fire alarm

[wzebra33]

A great link that updates often,
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

[wzebra33]

Cowboy rules for:

Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma, Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head aint crooked.

3. Lets get this straight: its called a gravel road. I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, youre gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. Thats why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Dont like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are coming in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you dont have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? Its available at the corner bait shop.

9. The Opener refers to the first day of deer season. Its a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. Thats applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, theres no vegetarian special on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chefs Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We dont care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that stuff you eat ... IT AINT REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring Mary Jane into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But dont hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump aint music, anyway. We dont want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

When youre too old to cut the mustard, you can always lick the jar.

[Fishin' Canuck]

very cool

nice job!

[wzebra33]

Some redneck hotdog holders that I made from some old horseshoes,just place next to a fire pit or on top of the grill.

[Fishin' Canuck]

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html

The Redneck Yacht Club opened in February near Naples, Fla., consisting of an 800-acre carefully designed mud pit that drivers pay $30 to frolic in with their own customized off-road vehicles. One mechanic told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune in April that he had spent $15,000 fixing up his rig, with 6-foot-high tires and a skull ornament. His review: "This place is kick-butt." [Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 4-2-09]

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

Sure glad to hear that.

I hit it with a hammer the other day and it's still not big enough.

LOL

Phil

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

LOL

I always heard the size of a man's feet was a giveaway too, but not for me.

LOL

Phil

[cbfromli]

i dont think is your thumb you have to worry about

[lacymarie]

I was thinking, now when i see a hitch hiker, i will know if i should pick him up or not...LOL JK!

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

Damn,

My thumb is not long enough.

LOL

Phil

[lacymarie]

Thats a good one too....

Did You Know...

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.


One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

LOL

Great one Lacy.

............................................................

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road when they needed some gas. After a while, they saw a sign that read "Free Sex with Fill-up." They decided to pull in and asked the attendant for a full tank. After he was done, they paid and the attendant started to walk away.
"Wait," the driver yelled, "what about my free sex?" The attendant rolled his eyes and came back to the car.
"Okay, but you will have to guess a number between 1 and 10."
"6."
"No, the answer was 3. Sorry." As the attendant started to walk off, the passenger asked to guess. The attendant agreed.
"7."
"No, I told you the answer was 3." The driver then sped off.
"I think that game was rigged," said the passenger. "There is no way to win.'
"Uh-uh," the driver said. "My wife won three times last week."

[lacymarie]

Hillbillies



Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '
2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'
1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'
2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them newFangled warshin ' machines!'
1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?'
2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'
3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'
1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'
3rd Hillbilly says: 'She ain't got no pecker.'

[DOC49431]

Check out the new chrome for your wheels that GTLA produces





FULLERTON, CA -- (Marketwire) -- 03/09/09 -- GT Legend Automotive Holdings Inc.

(PINKSHEETS: GTLA) (www.gtlegendautomotive.com) is a Nevada Corporation located in Fullerton, CA, which was developed to meet the growing needs of the ever changing automobile aftermarket. GT Legend Automotive is also helping push traditional Chrome out of the wheel market. In years past hexavalent chromium plating has long been a favorite surface finish due to its hardness, corrosion resistance and shiny appearance. However, hexavalent chromium is a known carcinogen and industrial exposure levels are mandated by U.S. law to be reduced by as much as 50 times. It's obvious that an environmentally friendly alternative for this popular finish was needed.





GT Legend Wheels are the first wheels to be finished in "Capella PVD Chrome," a New Technology that combines powder coating with vacuum plating as a durable replacement for traditional chrome. It has been tested under the most stringent automotive industry standards, exceeding the requirements of traditional chrome and many paint & powder requirements. In recent years automakers Lexus and Ford have been releasing new vehicles with the new Physical Vapor Deposition (PVD) process. Capella PVD Chrome is also available in a high tech "Black Chrome" finish. All GT Legend Capella PVD Chrome wheels are warranted for 7 years for finish, with a lifetime structural warranty.




PVD coating is a vacuum deposition process that has received increasing use in recent years and is no longer seen as a laboratory process. It has been scaled up to handle large complex part geometries at an affordable cost.

Many companies have realized benefits from converting their product from electroplating to PVD coating. Coatings can be deposited from room temperature to as high as 500 degrees Celsius depending on the substrate and the application. The PVD process provides a more uniform deposit, improved adhesion up to six times greater in some cases, wider choice of materials to be deposited and there are no harmful chemicals to dispose of.

Because PVD coating is more environmentally friendly and chemical disposal costs are minimal, the cost of PVD coating and electroplating is very close on some products. Using new technologies like GT Legend Automotive's performance "Capella PVD Chrome," the consumer could see an additional 5 years of life for chrome wheel finishes even under the harshest of weather conditions of the East Coast.




The focus of GT Legend Automotive is to establish strategic alliances with distributors throughout the nation via an agreement with GT Legend Automotive. GT Legend Automotive is currently establishing recognition and high acclaim within the ever increasing market for performance Hybrids and the new environmentally friendly Capella PVD Chrome process.




GT Legend Automotive will continue to provide exciting new products to the performance car world.




SAFE HARBOR: Statements in this press release other than statements of historical fact, including statements regarding the company's plans, beliefs and estimates as to projections are "forward-looking statements." Such statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties, including factors listed from time to time in the company's SEC filings, and actual results could differ materially from expected results. These forward-looking statements represent the Company's judgment as of the date of this release. The Company does not undertake to update, revise or correct any forward-looking statements.


Investor Relations:

Tom Parilla

814-824-4326

[wzebra33]

Redneck swamp bike

[wzebra33]

Redneck harley

[purduecrew]

I love this board. Flippin awesome!

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

TO ALL:

It is my extreme pleasure to announce the first annual NASCAR on TALKZILLA SPRINT CUP CHALLENGE.

The contest will begin with the running of the Daytona 500 in February, 2009 and will run until the last race in November, 2009.

We have been holding the contest here on Ihub since 2006, but Bob Z. (AKA The Stig) invited us to move the contest to TalkZilla.

As an incentive, Bob is offering CASH prizes totaling $1000.

Anyone interested in NASCAR, or in making money, please join us on the TalkZilla NASCAR board.

Come have fun with us and take a chance on making some cash in the process.

There is no entry fee, and there are presently a few free lifetime memberships available to TalkZilla. Just register for TalkZilla and then post on the Talkzilla NASCAR board that you want to join the contest.

This link is to the TalkZilla sign up page:

http://cars.talkzilla.com/?mdc=21

Have fun,
Phil

[capgain]

Meet Big D! ***do not click on this if adult language bothers you***

http://www.youtube.com/user/dled1

[Green_cat]

O!..

LOL!

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

You don't need to know anything about cars to have fun.

Check out my newest board:

http://cars.talkzilla.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=47

Surely you can talk about food, beer and women.

LOL

Phil

[Green_cat]

just talkzilla...

but man Phil..im on 3 chat forumzzz..and I dont know chit bout...carzzz..LOL

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

You have signed up for Talkzilla?

And the NASCAR contest?

Get with the program dude.

LOL

Have fun,
Phil

[Green_cat]

Im there dude..LOL!

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

TO ALL:

It is my extreme pleasure to announce the first annual NASCAR on TALKZILLA SPRINT CUP CHALLENGE.

The contest will begin with the running of the Daytona 500 in February, 2009 and will run until the last race in November, 2009.

We have been holding the contest here on Ihub since 2006, but Bob Z. (AKA The Stig) invited us to move the contest to Talkzilla.

As an incentive, Bob is offering CASH prizes totaling $1000.

Anyone interested in NASCAR, or in making money, please join us on the Talkzilla NASCAR board:

http://cars.talkzilla.com/boards/board.aspx?board_id=49

Come have fun with us and take a chance on making some cash in the process.

There is no entry fee. Just post on the Talkzilla NASCAR board that you want to join the contest.

Have fun,

Phil (Hot Rod Chevy) on Talkzilla.

[Green_cat]

[cbfromli]

hello

[wzebra33]

Redneck friends

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.


PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.'


SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.'

'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.'


BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
MARRY WILL, OR MARRY JOE:
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.'

[SkeBallLarry]

now THAT is zactly what I need, Lacy .... Box dat up, will ya ... ??

Yes, all settled in and luving ALL NEW stuff ... !!

[lacymarie]

Welcome back Larry...hope you are all comphy in your new condo, have to find a housewarmin gift for you...

Would this work?
http://s239.photobucket.com/albums/ff13/akakez/VIDEO/?action=view¤t=what_every_man_wants_in_bed.flv

[SkeBallLarry]

'' Yikes '' .... !!!

[Phil(Hot Rod Chevy)]

I've seen it before Lacy,

But I never tire of seeing it time after time.

LOL

Phil

[lacymarie]

You might have seen this before but just makin sure.

How to pronounce Oklahoma correctly

I never knew this.

I guess I had been pronouncing it correctly all along, but I never knew the story behind it.

There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma

The proper way is: Okla . . . Homa
(There's a pause between the 'a' and the 'h'.)

[Green_cat]

Shewwy!..now dat ahh set of poke-chopzzz!

Twang-ahh-lang-ahh-LANG!

[Green_cat]

HAYYYY...My main man stan!

I MEAN WHAZZZAPPENIN????
SHEWWWWwwwwwwyyyyy!

[SkeBallLarry]

%% Tony %%