The thing about Workaholics Anonymous is...
if you have time to come to the meetings, you don't really have a problem.
I'll be joking telepathically rest of the day...
so if you think of something funny, that was me.
Marriage is a relationship
in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
The wife was making a breakfast
of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're go ing to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
A VERY ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and
orders a draft beer.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the
railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young
woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut
her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all
night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her
on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard, was she pretty?"
"Dunno... Never found the head!"
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
