The term "crapper" used in the the context of your post seems to refer to the inventor of the common household "toilet" which was invented by a fellow named John Crapper in England circa (i don't know)
so we say gotta go to the John refers to John Crapper.
lol...calm down there little fella...it will be ok...normally I wouldn't respond but being that it is so close to the holiday I'm afraid you're about ready to take your own life.
I think we should put this little fella on suicide watch.