Replies to post #104897 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

oh yeah....

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A young teenager, cenote, comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen." the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said, "all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 'Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer'."

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A well-stacked young advertising secretary, cenote, wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising it."

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Between the ages of 16 and 18, cenote is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest. After 56, she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn.

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cenote sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships. "Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly. "The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet," counselled the therapist. So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon. When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."