Computer Viruses
The following information is from credible intelligence sources on the latest viruses sweeping across our nation's information superhighway, so take extreme caution and be on high virus alert at all times!
THE GEORGE W BUSH VIRUS - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction
THE JOHN KERRY VIRUS - Reverses every position each time you turn your computer on
THE AL GORE VIRUS - Causes your computer to keep counting, recounting, recounting ... ad nauseam
THE BILL CLINTON VIRUS - Gives you a permanent hard drive, with no memory
THE BOB DOLE VIRUS - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
THE LEWINSKY VIRUS - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails your best friends about what it did).
THE RONALD REAGAN VIRUS - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
THE JESSE JACKSON VIRUS - Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background and rhyming it all
THE MIKE TYSON VIRUS - Quits after two bytes
THE OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200
THE JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS - Deletes all old files
THE PROZAC VIRUS - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS - Only attacks minor files
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
THE MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Attacks only minor files
THE LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows
AI
