FACT-N-FICTION

[sandvet]

Can you picture the phone conversation between the auditor and Jim Plant ? It might go like this:

Auditor: Good morning Jim, this is Mike, your auditor from Greentree. I'm going to need the exact share count data in order for me to calculate shareholder equity and EPS. I'll need total authorized, outstanding, restricted, preferred, etc., as of TODAY.

Jim Plant: I'm sorry Mike, I'm so busy lately working hard keeping my shareholders informed, that I just don't keep track of those nit noy numbers. Why don't you call Kay, my Transfer Agent at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Auditor: Thanks Jim, I'll give Kay a call.

Auditor: Good morning Kay, this is Mike the Auditor. I'm on contract to audit the financials for Cyberkey Solutions and I'll need the exact share data as of Today.

Kay: I'm really sorry Mike, I can't do that. It's just been so busy here, and Mr Plant has instructed me not to release ANY share data. But I want to make it clear to you that we are NOT gagged here, so please don't start those rumors. We are NOT gagged...it's just that I can't release any of the data you are looking for.

Auditor: Alright Kay, I guess I'll have to call Mr Plant and get this straightened out.

Auditor: Good afternoon Mr Plant, I called Kay for the current share data but she said that she couldn't release it to me. Will you call her and straighten it out?

Jim Plant: I'm sorry Mike, but Kay should have given you the information you want. Let me make it clear, she is NOT gagged.

Auditor: Yes Mr Plant, she was very clear to me that she is not gagged, but she won't give me the share data.

Jim Plant: See that Mike ? She said she is not gagged and I said she is not gagged...so what is the problem ?? What do you need from me ?

Auditor: Mr Plant, I need those share data numbers to complete your audit. Will you CALL Kay PLEASE ?

Jim Plant: Why should I call Kay? She is not gagged ! She merely is not allowed to give out that data. I really don't know what your problem is. Just tell me what you need and I'll help you.

Auditor: I NEED THE SHARE DATA.

Jim Plant: Oh, that's easy Mike. Why don't you just look at my web site. It's all posted there. Or you can also go to Pinksheets.com, they have some stuff there too. If they don't match up, just average them.

Auditor: Mr Plant, I need exact, certified share counts so I can legally finish your audit per GAAP standards.

Jim Plant: Oh Mike, I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't want you to FINISH the audit, that's crazy! I just want you to be PREPARING to do the audit for the next year or so. That way my shareholders will keep the PPS propped up till I slowly dump another billion or two shares into the market to keep my people paid and my 401k up to date. I'll just need periodic updates, every month or so, on how you are progressing in your "preparations" to do the audit.

Auditor: Mr Plant, I can't do that. I'm not that kind of an auditor.

Jim Plant: C'mon Mike, everyone has a price. How many CKYS shares do you want? Just tell me, I'm on my way to the Printer's now !

Auditor: Sorry Mr Plant, our business is done here.
(Hangs up)

Jim Plant: (Calling his secretary). Cindy, get Big Apple on the line. I need to put out another fluff PR progress report about our soon-to-be-released audit. I've been talking with the auditors extensively and they are very excited ! Oh, by the way, has the producer for Good Morning America called yet??

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