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The Punchiest Punchlines (Thanksgiving 2020 Edition)

“Last week, the C.D.C. urged Americans not to travel, so, of course, we’re traveling.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“What are people doing? Three million Americans are gonna show up for Thanksgiving like, ‘I brought some yams or maybe the plague.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“If you’re going to travel this week, at least do the decent thing by sealing yourself in a box and letting FedEx ship you home.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Can’t be comforting when you’re at a crowded airport watching CNN talk about how dumb it is to be at an airport.” — JIMMY FALLON

“You know it’s a bad idea when even airport sushi thinks you’re disgusting.” — JIMMY FALLON

“What do they expect? We’re the same people they had to tell not to eat Tide Pods.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Every year, we look for an excuse to get out of spending Thanksgiving with our families. We finally now have one and everyone’s complaining. Embrace it. How much cranberry Jell-O can you eat?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/24/arts/television/late-night-trump-sidney-powell.html?action=click&module=Features&pgtype=Homepage