Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.

Want people to leave you alone this fall?
Tuck in your sweater.

When I was born, my mom said
"It's a treasure !" My dad said, "Yeah, let's bury it."

I don't want to be a millionaire. I just want to have enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.

Me: "Hey, did you buy "100 count tennis balls" from Amazon?"
Wife: "No."
Dog: ( pretends to read newspaper )

What's the name of that mountain in the
Himalayas where people never sleep? Mt. Neverest.