Sons And Daughters Of BBCMF with Redneck Comedy, Comedy, Cartoons, etc.

[Penny Roger$]

lol on that last bit.. The only solution is man made lakes far from flood areas and just destroy all life in a lake for a while.. Too much effort imo.. Nobody cares as usual in large numbers. All that matters is talking points on TV talk shows. All messed up..

[illegal_alias]

Just bad planning. Fish farming (catfish, etc.) was being promoted along the Mississippi in the '70s and '80s to produce a cleaner meat than was was being fished out of the river. Catfish can basically live in a mudhole, so the Asian carp was introduced to keep the ponds clean. While not on the floodplain, the problem was that many of the farms were up on T-1 or T-2 terraces, which do flood in cycles like 50-year and 100-year floods.

Carp don't need a whole lot of water in which to survive or get around. I was out in parts of Nebraska, which even the natives there consider the boonies in the '80s, up in the headwaters of Otter Creek which flows into the Republican River which flows into the Missouri, then to the Mississippi. We saw carp swimming upstream in water to shallow that their dorsal fins were sticking out, and also some that were trying to jump a short pond retaining wall that was overflowing. We nicknamed those "Nebraska salmon".

BTW, even the commom carp is a non-native species introduced from Europe in the 1800s.

Yep, game over. I spent nearly 20 years in Florida and we had the same problem with iguanas, pythons and Noo Yawka's.

[Penny Roger$]

Hey bud.. Yeah.. Game over imo.. Just a matter of time. Can't fight nature and crazy people at the same time. Might have been a terrorist attack to begin with.. idk.. China wants all the huge wild creatures in Africa dead so they can farm them and clone imo. Ivory and tiger penis is very popular. 1 billion people and a handful of wilderness.. No brainer.

Blah

[illegal_alias]

too funny. But that is a serious problem. Used to live in Illinois and remember when these beginning to be recognized as a problem in the late '70s and '80s.

[mick]

he does prilosec commercial...'then said you should have not gotten heartburn in da first place.'

[Penny Roger$]

He is if he got his head stuck in the wrong place..

[mick]

larry da cable guy????? is he a redneck?

[mick]

think it is true...lot true...

http://cdn.patriotupdate.com

[Penny Roger$]

lol, gotta have fun imo. I think these people enjoy life more than most..

[mick]

now this is good, back on the old backhills again.

[Penny Roger$]

Famous last words.. "Hey guys.. Watch this!"

[mick]

to da devil with this. devil be that devil be this...carp?

we use to fish in sherman park.

[Penny Roger$]

Battling Asian carp with swords and football helmets

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/battling-asian-carp-with-swords-and-football-helmets

[mick]

nothing wrong with country music. this was meant to be for some humor/\

i lost some of my humor.

but i can learn again.

[Penny Roger$]

idk much about this board or why it exists but sounds like a good time so far! Sense of humor is priceless. So is some good country music imo.

[mick]

i will be a redneck for most comedy. lot of humor about the southern folks.

heck went to tucson and back with real redneck and proud to be one.

[Penny Roger$]

Merry Christmas To all!

[mick]

PINKSHEET UPDATES...

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[mick]

hi smokin, when ya got their money run to da bank.

[Green_cat]

Ohh I will...

I think the old sweety is the same juan!..LOL

I dont search 'Round when I izz hoppy!

Toodlezzz!

[NovoMira]

You have a new sweetie?

What happened to the other one?

You're gonna be sorry you taught her to gamble...she's gonna be like me now. I get that itch to go and poor Hubby has to drive 5 hours about once a month just so I can lose all his money. LOL

J/K

A couple of months ago I won $2400.00 on a $2.00 slot and about 2 minutes later won another $480.00. Took it home too! :)))

OK...that's it for me. Hitting the sack.

G'night, Smok. Be good now, ya hear!

[Green_cat]

Ohh work is done for the jear,,ohh I got 1 small 1 to do..like I need the doe now..lol...and its mid 40-50 still..nights belong to the stray cats roamin'..lol

All is well and now I has ahh sweety!..I taught her to GAMBLE..lol NOW..she wants to just GO!!!!..oooppsss!

Good seeing you also!

Always good to see kewl Folx!

[NovoMira]

I figured you'd enjoy it, Smok..

How you doing?

The nights are getting colder here...it's supposed to get down to 39 degrees tonight so hauled all my hibiscus plants inside this afternoon. Gonna be sore tomorrow.

[Green_cat]

umm I just turnt up theee heat...

no more boats, and or casinos this year...(((

I tapped em out...as they say!..LOL yep..Four WINDS payed my gal and I good for the year!

She hit ahh penny machine for $700 and I hit the $25 for $4,200, i lost almost ahh G til I hit ahh $10 for anoth $5,100, all in ahh 2 hour time period..NOT TO SHABBY!



needless to say, its weally easy to blow 1G...when yah got it...SCARY 2!

[Green_cat]

HI NOVO..lol..dat wuzahh funEEE juan!..LOL

[mick]

yeah if ya riding da boat on lake michigan. cool breezing this morning.

[Green_cat]

yes..it is NICE!..LOL
and silent...
and LOVELY!

You ROCK!

has ahh good NIGHT/MORN'N..lol
Peace!!!

[NovoMira]

For you cat lovers....

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/wake-up/4041359435

[mick]

hi ovation, good morning. love humor, any will do.

[mick]

hi smokin, good morning. nice...love humor.

[Green_cat]

Hola Mick..You got all of IHUB coverd

[mick]

hmmm, interesting, saw hairy stuff. i need to get some hairball stuff for my cat "samatha" all black.

harry was white.

[ovation]

She probably has hairier balls then I do lol!

[mick]

ovation, ya got me my first laffer this morning,,,great balls of fire.

[ovation]

GOOD morning, Be thankful you don't wake up to this every morning.....WOW! lol!

[mick]

hi GS, good morning to all.

[mick]

GS ya right about that...means you got some noney to burn on the next msft.

thanx for the charming message...hoppers to ya.

[Golden Cross]

Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart!

[Golden Cross]

Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make.

[mick]

me again, i gave you one of my golden nails.

[mick]

hi jimnbama, good evening. let a couple rip. i have been a little off this summer.

i needed some repairs on my groin and prostate also da bladder surgery.

[mick]

hi teapee, good morn'in to ya.

[teapeebubbles]

THE REDNECK VASECTOMY
>
>
> AFTER THEIR 11 TH CHILD, AN ALABAMA COUPLE DECIDED
> THAT WAS ENOUGH AS THEY COULD NOT AFFORD A LARGER
> BED.
>
> SO THE HUSBAND WENT TO HIS VETERINARIAN AND TOLD
> HIM THAT HE AND HIS COUSIN DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANY
> MORE CHILDREN.
>
> THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM THAT THERE WAS A PROCEDURE
> ; CALLED A VASECTOMY THAT COULD FIX THE PROBLEM
> BUT THAT IT WAS EXPENSIVE.
>
> "A LESS COSTLY ALTERNATIVE", SAID THE DOCTOR,
> "IS TO GO HOME, GET A CHERRY BOMB." (FIREWORKS ARE
> LEGAL IN ALABAMA), "LIGHT IT, PUT IT IN A BEER CAN, THEN
> HOLD THE CAN UP TO YOUR EAR AND COUNT TO 10."
>
> THE ALABAMIAN SAID TO THE DOCTOR, "I MAY NOT BE
> THE SMARTEST TOOL IN THE SHED, BUT I DON'T SEE
> HOW PUTTING A CHERRY BOMB IN A BEER CAN NEXT
> TO MY EAR IS GOING TO HELP ME."
>
> "TR UST ME ," SAID THE DOCTOR.
>
> SO THE MAN WENT HOME, LIT A CHERRY BOMB AND
> PUT IT IN A BEER CAN. HE HELD THE CAN UP TO HIS
> EAR AND BEGAN TO COUNT "1"
>
> "2"
>
>
> "3"
>
>
> "4"
>
> "5"
>
>
> AT WHICH POINT HE PAUSED, PLACED THE BEER CAN
> BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND RESUMED COUNTING ON HIS
> OTHER HAND.
>
> THIS PROCEDURE ALSO WORKS IN KENTUCKY, ARKAN SAS,
> OKLAHOMA, MISSISSIPPI, WEST VIRGINIA, TEXAS, LOUISIANA,
> AND GEORGIA.

[teapeebubbles]

Two Rednecks are sittin' in a boat on the lake fishing
and suckin' down beers when all of a sudden Woody says,
"I think I'm goin' to divorce my wife - she hasn't
spoken to me in over six months."

Bubba slowly sips his beer and says, "You better think
it over - women like that are hard to find."

[teapeebubbles]

Redneck Quiz

1) A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
[True] or [False]?

2) Asphalt describes rectal problems.
[True] or [False]?

3) Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
[True] or [False]?

4) Vagina is a medical term used to describe a
Heart Attack.
[True] or [False]?

5) The clitoris is a type of flower.
[True] or [False]?

6) A G-string is part of a fiddle.
[True] or [False]?

7) Semen is a term for sailors.
[True] or [False]?

8) Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
[True] or [False]?

9) Testicles are found on an Octopus.
[True] or [False]?

10) A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
[True] or [False]?

11) KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
[True] or [False]?

12) Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
[True] or [False]?

13) Coitus is a musical instrument.
[True] or [False]?

14) Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
[True] or [False]?

15) An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
[True] or [False]?

16) A condom is a large apartment complex.
[True] or [False]?

17) An orgasm is a person who accompanies a
church choir.
[True] or [False]?

18) A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
[True] or [False]?

19) A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
[True] or [False]?

20) An erection is when Japanese people vote.
[True] or [False]?

21) A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
[True] or [False]?

22) Sodomy is a special land of fast growing
grass.
[True] or [False]?

23) Pornography is the business of making
records.
[True] or [False]?

24) Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
[True] or [False]?

25) Douche is the French word for "twelve.".
[True] or [False]?

[teapeebubbles]

Q: What do you call a redneck who has a dog and
a cat?
A: Bisexual

[teapeebubbles]

[On redneck sheriffs] I noticed they love their stomachs. They stick them out, they're really proud of their stomachs.

[mick]

very funny , thank you.

[teapeebubbles]

THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE

AND A HILLBILLY WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.

THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEPING STOPPED.



THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.



"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID, "I HAVE A MICROCHIP

UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."



A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMAN

LIFTER HER PALM TO HER EAR AND TALKED QUIETLY. WHEN SHE

FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE.

I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."



THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE

OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS

IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO

THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER

HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS

AND STARED AT HER.







THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT,

I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

[mick]

that surely issome stinky stufferoos.