Drunken Posters Board

[I Need Money]

lol

[I Need Money]

Drunk folks need a place to post, wish this board was still active! :)

[Lotto123]

It won't happen with me...I'll prolly just get cobwebs on my siggy..... Soon like a lot of peeps will prolly have that...it will get so big they will just have to remove them...overload...

[Crazy Money]

The moderator of this board passed away... like we all will someday... clicked on his name and see... Membership Type: ... and the symbol for sayin' such a thing... that stuff still freaks me out about dis interwebzzz stuff... look back at certain folks yearzzz later and see that someone has notified iHub that they have actually died and stuff...

[Lotto123]

All these mods and no posting.....AA the culprit ????

[b4atf]

Well, it was closing time at the local bar. Suddenly a pretty hot car peeled out of the parking lot. The Sheriff was right on it.

A few miles down the road the car pulled over and went through the whole DUI routine. He blew a 0%. The Sheriff asked what is this about?

"I am the designated decoy."

Everyone else drove home safely.

b4

[b4atf]

Like a Martini!! Well I had a jug of gin in the freezer and an unopened jar of green olives in the fridge. Remarkable!

[b4atf]

Well, it appears we are taking a legislative run to approve Sunday liquor again here in MN.

I never missed it but never had it.

b4

[b4atf]

You did pretty well... for you gem.

I thought it was SGCP.

b4

[gemstone57]

I didn't even see the camera.

[b4atf]

Spotted one of you guys at the store.

b4

[Drizzt]

The Cork back in the Day...

[Drizzt]

for you drunk rockers

[Drizzt]

I surely like the ban list...

[b4atf]

Well the Holidays are over. Back to work slaves.

Forget the 5 hour energy drink. Dr. Koholic has a prescription for you.

b4

[Drizzt]

you should be sleeping...

[b4atf]

How Beer saved the world!

Ancient cultures drank beer instead of water. 45 minutes but pretty entertaining.

b4

[Drizzt]

Merry Christmas...

[b4atf]

Did you hear of the two blondes who froze to death in their car at the drive in movie?

They went to see.. Closed for the winter.

b4

[b4atf]

“Jesus loves you” – a nice thing to hear in church, but a horrific
thing to hear in a Mexican prison!

Your Mom is trying to raise the bail.

b4

[properlynumb]

Girls on Santa’s naughty list get wedgies for Xmas (26 Photos) http://thechive.com/2011/12/07/girls-on-santas-naughty-list-get-wedgies-for-xmas-26-photos/#Bw6F2iuQFT59YDci.99

[properlynumb]

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this...
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

- Cliff Claven from Cheers

[b4atf]

A guy in the hospital says "what are you gonna do Doc?

He replies, "I am putting you on an all pizza diet."

"Will that cure me?"

"No, but we can slide them under the door!"

b4

[properlynumb]

I stumbled upon a single barrel bourbon from Knob Creek Distillery.
And as the saying goes;
I've been stumbling ever since.
Knob Creek comes from Jim Beam and is a true Kentucky Bourbon.
Nice, 9 year old single barrel reserve, whiskey!
60% alcohol by volume, 120 proof.
Practically evaporates on the tongue. LOL

http://www.knobcreek.com/our-bourbon/single-barrel-reserve

Remarkable how our appreciation of beauty changes measured by the ounce.......
Here's the Whiskybitch just a few hours before closing time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9iFDQS7aAs

[properlynumb]

Trust me, I'm an engineer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp8hvyjZWHs

[b4atf]

Hey, I passed 10,000 posts today. Gotta get a life!

b4

[b4atf]

Dangerous deer! Move the signs please!

b4

http://dailybail.com/home/must-see-please-move-the-deer-crossing.html

[FadeMeToWin]

Help a real hero

Ty Woods was a ex-Navy SEAL who was killed in the Benghazi Terrorist attack. Ty leaves a widow and an infant son.

http://donate.seal-nswfamilyfoundation.org/events/ty-woods-memorial-fund/e21388

[b4atf]

The Beer Bet

An Irishman walks into a bar in Texas. He says, “I hear you Texans are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 beers back-to-back.”

The room is quiet. One man leaves. No one takes the Irishman up on his offer.

Thirty minutes later the man who left returns. He taps the Irishman on the shoulder. “Does your offer still stand?” he asks.

The Irishman says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 beers on the bar. Immediately the Texan begins. He doesn’t stop until he has drunk all ten beers back-to-back.

The others in the bar cheer as the Irishman sits in amazement. He gives the Texan the $500 and says, “If you don’t mind me asking, where did you go for that half hour?”

The Texan replies, “Oh… before I took your bet, I wanted to go to another bar down the street to be sure I could do it.”

[properlynumb]

Great reason to tilt your golden flask------
Fast forward to 15 mins into this chart study to see into the future.
(Don't miss the lovely and talented Daniela's intro)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y97Fo_STzfE

[b4atf]

A guy was visiting the top of Empire State Building and another visitor said "Hey check this out!" The other guy jumps over the railing and falls to a balcony a few floors down.

Pretty soon he arrives back at the observation deck and exclaims "that is so fun and it works every time!"

A while later the police arrived and one complained, "that damn Superman!"


Another old joke...

Superman is flying over New York and sees Wonder Woman lying naked on her back on a roof. He gets ready and plunges into the honey hole. "You SOB" yelled the Invisible Man!

b4

[b4atf]

As I keep repeating! Tin foil is NO protection. Only Copper!

A group of MIT students decided to test the performance of different tinfoil beanies to see how various designs (the "classical," "fez" and "centurion") interacted with commonly used industrial radio applications. They found that all three designs actually amplified these mind control rays radio waves, suggesting that the tinfoil hat meme might be a false-flag operation engineered to trick the wily and suspicious into making it easier to beam messages into their skulls.


Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

... We evaluated the performance of three different helmet designs, commonly referred to as the Classical, the Fez, and the Centurion. These designs are portrayed in Figure 1. The helmets were made of Reynolds aluminium foil. As per best practices, all three designs were constructed with the double layering technique described elsewhere [2].

A radio-frequency test signal sweeping the ranges from 10 Khz to 3 Ghz was generated using an omnidirectional antenna attached to the Agilent 8714ET's signal generator.

b4

http://boingboing.net/2012/10/01/tinfoil-hats-actually-amplify.html

[properlynumb]

Did it just get chilly?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Herg6uUCrKw&feature=player_detailpage

[b4atf]

What is worse than your doctor telling you have gonnorhea.

When your dentist tells you!

Knock that off Gem!

b4

[gemstone57]

Something smells funny...

[b4atf]

TSA to conduct anal probes.

[b4atf]

No more pickles for you!!!

b4

[FadeMeToWin]

When you get old the Baby Ninja will strike.

[b4atf]

Never get old my friends. An old cop buddy showed up last night and we spent the whole night reminiscing. Level 5 today. No good for anything but napping all day. Sure was fun though!

b4

[properlynumb]

This may not be true but it may be amusing.......
I married a lady who was very poor.
Her father was a bootlegger
And I love her still!

[b4atf]

An amusing true story. Around 1982 I shared an apartment with my brother and a friend. I was fresh out of the Navy and we were all poor.

Across the street was a small hippie commune and a young fellow we nicknamed "the Scrounge" who spent his days dumpster diving and collecting aluminum cans. Once I let him pick the beer cans out of my Olds 98 and he found 156!

Well one day the Scrounge hit the MOTHER LOAD! He found about 120 frozen pizzas in the Cub foods dumpster nearby. Just out of date not spoiled. Their house freezer could not hold that many and he came over and asked if we could store some. Of course I said yes!

Well he brought over around 100 pizzas.

Bob, Chris and I went on weeks of pizza binging. Morning noon and night Pizza, pizza, pizza...

The Scrounge returned some time later and asked for some of his pizzas back and we never laughed so hard! Between us we had 5 motorcycles in the front yard. Hint, not a secure storage facility.

b4

[gemstone57]

A must have for us professionals

[properlynumb]

New cure for Asian flush syndrome
(that rosy glow)

[b4atf]

The wife left a note on the fridge.


"It's not working, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother."


I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.........


What the hell is she talking about?

[b4atf]

RUN!



b4

[properlynumb]

I'll buy, if you fly!


Police: 911 caller seeking ride for beer arrested

3:29 PM, Aug 6, 2012

COLUMBIA, Tenn. (AP) - When you're out of beer and need a ride to get some, who you gonna' call?

Not 911.

The Columbia Daily Herald reported city police arrested a 67-year-old man after he allegedly called emergency dispatchers at least nine times. Most of the calls were hang-ups, but a dispatcher said at least once, the caller asked if someone could send him a ride so he could buy beer.

Police Officer Seneca Shield said he told Allen Troy Brooks if he cooperated, he would just receive a citation. But authorities say he denied making the calls, was arrested and charged with making 911 calls in a non-emergency situation. He was released on bond.

An online phone listing for Allen T. Brooks had a recording saying it was no longer in service.
http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/267072/58/Police-911-caller-seeking-ride-for-beer-arrested

[Pennyprof]

That was funny!

[SkeBallLarry]

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_videos/best_strip_tease_ever.shtml

[b4atf]

Alaskan Man Using Inflatable Raft Arrested for DUI

Don't drink beer and float around on a rubber raft in Alaska


Sam Friedman
newsminer.com
August 2, 2012

A Juneau man faces a rare DUI charge for allegedly having a 0.313 breath-alcohol content as he floated through Fairbanks on an inflatable raft Sunday night.

Alaska’s driving under the influence law applies to people operating motor vehicles, water craft and airplanes. The vast majority of charges are for terrestrial motor vehicles.

But when Alaska State Troopers received a report of a “heavily intoxicated” man floating down the Chena River near the Parks Highway bridge at 6:40 p.m. Sunday, a wildlife trooper boat responded and arrested 32-year-old William Modene.

[b4atf]

October 6 weekend is good. I have everyone's paperwork except Tawney. I need that thing from Brazil.

We are good for rounds and got a line on a pig to roast.

Looking forward to it. Been too long. Make sure the team brings broke in boots cuz we won't be playing pussy games like in London.

b4