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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 1/20/2019 2:11:20 PM - Followers: 553 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#25603   I was at a bar when the guy Giovanni 01/20/19 02:11:19 PM
#25602   One day at a local café, a woman getmoreshares 01/19/19 11:42:23 AM
#25601   I have outsomnia, I sleep 20 hours a SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/18/19 10:06:01 AM
#25600   A State Trooper pulled an 87-year-old woman over Giovanni 01/17/19 12:45:39 PM
#25599   Just took... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/19 10:22:03 AM
#25598   Saw a sign along the highway "END SHOULDER SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/19 10:15:53 AM
#25597   perfect- we all must do that! getmoreshares 01/16/19 04:50:21 PM
#25596   How To Shower Like A Man: SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/16/19 10:46:05 AM
#25595   I went to a strip club at lunchtime SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/16/19 08:29:16 AM
#25594   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/14/uvpklAttach11122_20 PappaJohn 01/14/19 07:28:29 PM
#25593   Looking through the want ads last week, I mnfats 01/14/19 04:52:06 PM
#25592   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/14/hnofiJoke.png mnfats 01/14/19 03:35:47 PM
#25591   I needed a password eight characters long so.... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 12:39:33 PM
#25590   One day Mr. Smith, the president of a SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 12:33:32 PM
#25589   A man is outside in his front yard...... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 12:32:29 PM
#25588   A middle-aged couple were discussing their SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 12:31:47 PM
#25587   When a man opens the car door for getmoreshares 01/14/19 08:14:41 AM
#25586   Reminds me of our dog! Quintessence 01/14/19 06:30:13 AM
#25585   A shopkeeper was dismayed when a store opened... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 04:55:29 AM
#25584   A guy goes to the supermarket and... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 04:54:06 AM
#25583   A guy stuck his head into a barbershop SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 04:52:31 AM
#25581   When I announced I was getting married my SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/14/19 04:46:37 AM
#25580   I was at Walmart yesterday and pulled into SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/13/19 09:35:59 AM
#25579   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/12/tqvfhF2875FBABCC84C75806F mnfats 01/12/19 05:54:42 PM
#25578   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/12/sneromail34.jpg mnfats 01/12/19 05:49:38 PM
#25577   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/12/cuwxgbrains.jpg mnfats 01/12/19 05:45:08 PM
#25576   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/12/hkwaw44.jpg mnfats 01/12/19 05:43:49 PM
#25575   I called the Shopping Network SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/12/19 11:21:55 AM
#25574   GM Gio, I was fishing with a friend back2basics 01/11/19 10:58:37 AM
#25573   "Marriage is like putting your hand into a Giovanni 01/11/19 10:42:52 AM
#25572   Me this morning: SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/11/19 09:07:06 AM
#25571   G-Guys, Great Tag Team!!! back2basics 01/10/19 08:23:20 PM
#25570   Did she end up cock-eyed? Probably and also Gmenfan 01/10/19 12:44:11 PM
#25569   Woman with dry eye accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction cream Giovanni 01/10/19 12:10:55 PM
#25568   A 5-year old girl went to visit her SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/09/19 03:36:43 PM
#25567   "Who drives you to the beach?" back2basics 01/09/19 12:21:34 PM
#25566   On the porch SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/09/19 08:44:36 AM
#25565   Really love my 19th century gold pocket watch. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/08/19 01:57:20 PM
#25564   “Say, how old are you anyway?” the reporter SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/08/19 01:46:19 PM
#25563   People I live with are hiding my shit. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/08/19 01:45:46 PM
#25562   Both my kids are liberal arts majors, and SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/04/19 11:15:06 AM
#25561   Sea story! SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/04/19 11:12:47 AM
#25560   An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/04/19 11:04:04 AM
#25559   ""Because she can still drive!" back2basics 01/02/19 04:15:42 PM
#25558   I backed a horse last week at ten SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/02/19 09:55:50 AM
#25557   A senior citizen was chatting with his 80-year-old buddy. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/02/19 09:50:39 AM
#25556   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/1/1/plevqthumbnail345.jpg[/cha mnfats 01/01/19 06:51:56 PM
#25555   LOL-- great one getmoreshares 01/01/19 05:48:41 PM
#25554   Doctor: "We need to get these people to SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/01/19 01:11:15 PM