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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 7/19/2017 2:17:23 PM - Followers: 562 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#23708   I went in to see my doctor yesterday SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/19/17 02:17:23 PM
#23707 PappaJohn 07/18/17 10:01:18 PM
#23706   My youngest son asked me how old I was. excel 07/18/17 11:00:36 AM
#23705   An alcoholic, a nymphomaniac, and a stoner all getmoreshares 07/16/17 04:43:53 PM
#23704   An old French lady had a small shop mnfats 07/15/17 04:05:51 PM
#23703   There was an elderly man visiting a doctor Quintessence 07/14/17 04:45:06 PM
#23702   Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. mnfats 07/14/17 04:12:49 PM
#23701 mnfats 07/14/17 03:39:41 PM
#23700[/char mnfats 07/14/17 03:34:08 PM
#23699   At a local restaurant, I got on one SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/14/17 09:21:51 AM
#23698   Lie Detector Robot A father buys a lie detector e-ore 07/11/17 12:34:58 PM
#23697   Great stuff! pos_stock_hoarder 07/10/17 11:14:52 PM
#23696   WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS kumqwatt 07/10/17 08:24:56 PM
#23695   Love those old golds! pos_stock_hoarder 07/10/17 12:43:57 PM
#23694   A nun, badly needing to use to the getmoreshares 07/10/17 12:28:52 PM
#23693   I can't believe these kids at this lemonade SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/10/17 07:32:11 AM
#23692   Apples are actually bad for your health! SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/07/17 09:40:37 AM
#23691   Max, the schlemiel, can't find a job. He mnfats 07/06/17 02:47:06 PM
#23690   That's hilarious!!! Gmenfan 07/06/17 12:42:48 PM
#23689[/chart mnfats 07/06/17 12:37:48 PM
#23688 mnfats 07/06/17 12:32:57 PM
#23687   Governments! :-/ The European Commission has just announced an e-ore 07/04/17 06:40:55 PM
#23686   A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN basserdan 07/04/17 05:22:16 PM
#23685   "DANGER! DON'T TOUCH!" mnfats 07/03/17 04:09:40 PM
#23684   One year, Little Johnny's family was having the excel 07/03/17 11:28:55 AM
#23683   LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 07/01/17 10:53:13 PM
#23682   That's frickin' hillarious Gmenfan 07/01/17 08:42:39 PM
#23681   The barber's client looked depressed, so the barber getmoreshares 07/01/17 05:46:50 PM
#23680   A pedestrian is someone who thought there were mnfats 07/01/17 03:35:21 PM
#23679[/ch mnfats 07/01/17 03:28:45 PM
#23678   A Czech and a Pole decided to go e-ore 07/01/17 07:31:26 AM
#23677   I had sex with this oriental woman, and mnfats 06/30/17 03:04:52 PM
#23676   A man called the phone company to complain mnfats 06/30/17 03:02:41 PM
#23675   I needed to measure my waist, but I SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/30/17 12:47:25 PM
#23674   A guy had been out of work for excel 06/29/17 05:15:03 PM
#23673   LOLOLOL!!! excel 06/27/17 05:10:02 PM
#23672   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 06/27/17 03:54:45 PM
#23671   A preview of 'things' to come.... basserdan 06/27/17 02:44:46 PM
#23670   Isn't she sweet?! pos_stock_hoarder 06/26/17 03:55:43 PM
#23669[/ mnfats 06/26/17 03:09:23 PM
#23668   A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation excel 06/26/17 09:32:44 AM
#23667   Goldie! pos_stock_hoarder 06/24/17 10:53:45 PM
#23666   Two engineering students were crossing campus when one basserdan 06/24/17 09:27:00 PM
#23665   Love that guy. He does some great ones. excel 06/23/17 02:30:20 PM
#23664 SkeBallLarry 06/23/17 10:52:39 AM
#23663   Why don't autobiographies ever end with the SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/17 12:17:58 PM
#23662   That gave me an actual LOL!! back2basics 06/20/17 09:30:25 PM
#23661   A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for Gmenfan 06/20/17 08:08:03 AM
#23660   A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may getmoreshares 06/19/17 05:31:01 PM
#23659   Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, buy me something from Whole Foods" excel 06/18/17 11:34:06 AM