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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 11/17/2017 2:42:23 PM - Followers: 558 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#23951   >>>>>>>> SkeBallLarry 11/17/17 02:42:23 PM
#23950   There was a cowboy who went to the SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/16/17 02:55:40 PM
#23949   A guy on the street said to me, SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/16/17 07:02:11 AM
#23948   I have to share this with my wife. pos_stock_hoarder 11/15/17 09:46:17 AM
#23947   Good morning. Many great discoveries came by accident e-ore 11/15/17 08:26:49 AM
#23946   Wow .... I do the same thing yet Gmenfan 11/15/17 08:08:44 AM
#23945   "I've often been asked, 'What do you do e-ore 11/15/17 07:54:32 AM
#23944   Wisconsin: from the Indian word meaning......... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/13/17 12:32:22 PM
#23943   A health expert is giving a talk on SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/13/17 07:31:34 AM
#23942 mnfats 11/11/17 02:40:57 PM
#23941   Think we got a future lawyer right here! excel 11/09/17 10:20:12 AM
#23940   Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/09/17 09:49:37 AM
#23939   I saw a post on Craigslist that said: SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/09/17 09:46:16 AM
#23938   Recent studies show that 43% of women have SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/09/17 09:45:03 AM
#23937   Facetious. SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/17 08:23:00 AM
#23936   When I was a boy, my birthday present SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/17 08:19:03 AM
#23935   My wife always leaves her wedding ring at SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/17 08:17:04 AM
#23934   I'm so poor................................ SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/17 08:14:00 AM
#23933   I'm so broke . . . SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/17 08:12:38 AM
#23932   When the new patient was settled comfortably on mnfats 11/07/17 01:44:54 PM
#23931   Me "Why don't we have sex anymore?" SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/17 10:09:00 AM
#23930   Trying to make a list of things that SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/17 10:00:04 AM
#23929   Two guys were working at the airport, when SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/17 09:55:37 AM
#23928   While reading an article about fathers and sons SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/17 09:54:25 AM
#23927 pos_stock_hoarder 11/04/17 09:24:04 AM
#23926   There was a man standing before a judge Quintessence 11/03/17 04:00:51 PM
#23925   One day in court... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/03/17 01:34:40 PM
#23924   " LOL " .. !! SkeBallLarry 11/03/17 09:11:29 AM
#23923   Ok so I’m sitting on the porta John SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/03/17 08:48:41 AM
#23922   Classic sick joke! Good job! pos_stock_hoarder 11/01/17 02:15:18 PM
#23921   I walked in the bedroom to find my SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/01/17 02:13:25 PM
#23920   Note to self: SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/31/17 01:37:54 PM
#23919   At the end of a grueling Beatles recording pos_stock_hoarder 10/31/17 11:25:51 AM
#23918   A woman and her son were taking a getmoreshares 10/31/17 09:02:10 AM
#23917   A guy went to the doctor . . SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/30/17 02:56:41 PM
#23916   Sad news,,,,, PappaJohn 10/29/17 04:38:00 PM
#23915   Well, that explains that! pos_stock_hoarder 10/29/17 03:24:39 PM
#23914[/char mnfats 10/29/17 02:19:51 PM
#23913   LOL!! pos_stock_hoarder 10/27/17 04:10:45 PM
#23912[/char mnfats 10/27/17 01:04:31 PM
#23911[/cha mnfats 10/27/17 12:53:26 PM
#23910   It's perfectly acceptable for me to come home SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/27/17 12:20:58 PM
#23909   Whoever said that fingernails scratching down a blackboard SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/26/17 02:30:33 PM
#23908   Good one. Gmenfan 10/26/17 10:29:52 AM
#23907   Macy's is having a Harvey Weinstein Sale this weekend Giovanni 10/26/17 10:26:06 AM
#23906   The girlfriend stands by door, not sure what getmoreshares 10/26/17 09:19:20 AM
#23905   100 percent truth! pos_stock_hoarder 10/25/17 12:57:45 PM
#23904   Ain't it the truth!! Gmenfan 10/25/17 12:56:07 PM
#23903 mnfats 10/25/17 12:55:26 PM
#23902   A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather excel 10/24/17 11:52:30 AM