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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 11/13/2018 4:09:07 PM - Followers: 555 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#25316   Definitely blonde... PappaJohn 11/13/18 04:09:06 PM
#25315   A blonde and her husband........ SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/13/18 10:44:51 AM
#25314   There's a fine line between a numerator and Quintessence 11/12/18 09:15:46 PM
#25313   What? bartender I'll have a double! Giovanni 11/12/18 02:59:06 PM
#25312   I drink to forget! LOL! pos_stock_hoarder 11/10/18 09:50:10 PM
#25311   I'll go get some extra just in case, Flobewan 11/10/18 06:53:22 PM
#25310   I hear the flu is going to be mnfats 11/10/18 06:32:38 PM
#25309   Damn, thanks, I better stock up, LOL Flobewan 11/10/18 06:30:17 PM
#25308   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/11/10/jpoayimage001.jpg[/chart mnfats 11/10/18 06:29:29 PM
#25307   The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, basserdan 11/09/18 06:36:11 PM
#25306   John is having a bad day. Marilynt 11/09/18 12:00:12 PM
#25305   Top Signs You're Bored at Work: SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/09/18 08:36:06 AM
#25304   "You seem to have more than the average SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/09/18 08:35:10 AM
#25303   When ur door bell rang 20yrs ago vs Now pos_stock_hoarder 11/08/18 10:40:41 PM
#25302   Jury Duty getmoreshares 11/08/18 04:56:27 PM
#25301   BARBER: (To a long-haired teenager) You're next. getmoreshares 11/08/18 04:55:29 PM
#25300   like this one especially- could be the WIFE too getmoreshares 11/08/18 01:14:02 PM
#25299   A woman fell off a cruise ship today. SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/08/18 09:17:51 AM
#25298   Time: is what keeps things from..... SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/18 09:32:13 AM
#25297   While teaching a class, a teacher trying to SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/07/18 09:21:45 AM
#25296   "George Washington is the only president who didn't Quintessence 11/06/18 08:47:22 AM
#25295   You are a riot. Giovanni 11/05/18 04:22:08 PM
#25294   A cat cooked the right way? back2basics 11/05/18 02:33:45 PM
#25293   "Is there anyone else up there?" back2basics 11/05/18 02:24:54 PM
#25292   Rather fitting.... PappaJohn 11/05/18 02:04:13 PM
#25291   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/11/5/xyljoCats_mmm.jpg[/ PappaJohn 11/05/18 11:53:35 AM
#25290   I've had dogs and cats too. You've back2basics 11/05/18 11:33:36 AM
#25289   A blonde and a lawyer are seated next SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 10:54:35 AM
#25288   A poodle and a collie are walking together SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 10:49:18 AM
#25287   A member of Congress is walking down the SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 10:48:29 AM
#25286   An elderly couple goes to Burger King and SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 10:47:43 AM
#25285   A climber fell off a cliff, and, as SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 10:46:52 AM
#25284   Yes. We have a cat and a Quintessence 11/05/18 10:40:21 AM
#25283   I just stand around and strangers Giovanni 11/05/18 09:35:23 AM
#25282   Every line of that post has a message. back2basics 11/05/18 09:31:34 AM
#25281   I have been lucky and caught more than Giovanni 11/05/18 09:24:59 AM
#25280   Giovanni, If you spit your coffee over a back2basics 11/05/18 09:14:53 AM
#25279   I was recently asked SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/05/18 08:30:47 AM
#25278   I just spit my coffee:O) Giovanni 11/05/18 07:53:27 AM
#25277   Feline rebuttal... PappaJohn 11/05/18 07:45:36 AM
#25276   Oh! You know cats! back2basics 11/04/18 06:45:31 PM
#25275   A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died Quintessence 11/04/18 06:29:23 PM
#25274   For those of you that have ever caught back2basics 11/04/18 12:39:26 PM
#25273   What do a guy going through a bitter SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/04/18 09:41:23 AM
#25272   Two golfers were waiting their turn on the SHORENUFFSTUFF 11/04/18 07:24:00 AM
#25271   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/11/4/hhlybTime_change.jp PappaJohn 11/04/18 07:15:57 AM
#25270   Very clever! Quintessence 11/03/18 02:37:40 PM
#25269   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/11/3/kadvhCher.jpg PappaJohn 11/03/18 02:22:26 PM
#25268   A man goes out drinking one night and Quintessence 11/02/18 10:17:29 PM
#25267   A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how getmoreshares 11/02/18 05:26:46 PM