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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 10/18/2019 2:55:37 PM - Followers: 557 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 2

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#26359   And dead Giovanni 10/18/19 02:55:37 PM
#26358   Lovemaking Tips For Older People SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/18/19 11:07:32 AM
#26357   The police recently arrested a man selling "secret getmoreshares 10/17/19 10:46:38 AM
#26356   Wile E Coyote artwork actually worked in 2016 PappaJohn 10/15/19 12:05:20 PM
#26355   It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:59:45 AM
#26354   Your gym experience in graphic terms.... PappaJohn 10/15/19 10:50:11 AM
#26353   Perspectives... SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:48:08 AM
#26352   Ever wondered what your boss puts on your SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:46:12 AM
#26351   Good ones!!!! getmoreshares 10/15/19 10:44:41 AM
#26350   What job ads really mean SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:43:55 AM
#26349   Philosophies Explained in Simple Two-Cow Terms SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:38:21 AM
#26348   We have all been to those meetings where SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:35:54 AM
#26347   Employee Placement Method SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:34:00 AM
#26346   Ten best things to say if you get SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:32:32 AM
#26345   The corporate boat race SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/15/19 10:30:06 AM
#26344   While waiting in line at a busy airport getmoreshares 10/15/19 09:14:54 AM
#26343   Went to the gym and there's a new machine. getmoreshares 10/15/19 09:14:09 AM
#26342   LOLOLOLOLOLO:What an inspiring story getmoreshares 10/14/19 04:36:39 PM
#26341   Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant.. SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/14/19 11:04:38 AM
#26340   https://assets.amuniversal.com/e1946620c4ee0137c206005056a9545d pos_stock_hoarder 10/08/19 10:12:30 AM
#26339   Apple Picking pos_stock_hoarder 10/06/19 01:16:55 PM
#26338   One day Mr. Smith, the president of.... SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/06/19 09:35:24 AM
#26337   OH MY-- do not forget to VOTE-- Typical getmoreshares 10/04/19 04:31:06 PM
#26336   Here is a instant classic and hilarious: Giovanni 10/04/19 01:59:12 PM
#26335   A hyena is drinking at a watering hole SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/04/19 10:27:42 AM
#26334   Top 17 fatal things to say if your SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/04/19 10:25:14 AM
#26333   Two elderly residents, one male and one female, SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/03/19 03:09:44 PM
#26332   I met a girl in a bar. SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/03/19 03:06:18 PM
#26331   Strippers always say they’re just trying to SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/03/19 03:05:53 PM
#26330   He's gross funny & talented > SkeBallLarry 10/03/19 07:47:17 AM
#26329   Sorry about that last one. SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/02/19 03:42:34 PM
#26328   Oh, Lord, what a groaner! But it's pos_stock_hoarder 10/02/19 12:24:38 PM
#26327   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2019/10/2/tvpsrGroan.jpeg[/im PappaJohn 10/02/19 12:13:06 PM
#26326   A man begins noticing that SHORENUFFSTUFF 10/02/19 11:26:20 AM
#26325   https://assets.amuniversal.com/0ebb9450a08b0137b4f8005056a9545d pos_stock_hoarder 10/02/19 09:49:05 AM
#26324   Butch, the rooster getmoreshares 10/01/19 06:54:36 AM
#26323   When my wife falls asleep in a public SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/30/19 03:22:08 PM
#26322   A recent study found that 9 out of SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/30/19 11:05:15 AM
#26321   Glad I got mine before they ran out PappaJohn 09/29/19 06:21:01 PM
#26320   did check this out-- they have a sense getmoreshares 09/27/19 06:53:23 PM
#26319   My daughter should be getting her mid quarter SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/27/19 12:59:05 PM
#26318   Sometimes I buy enormous pants and take a SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/27/19 12:52:47 PM
#26317   https://assets.amuniversal.com/d072e600bb0b0137be3e005056a9545d pos_stock_hoarder 09/27/19 11:42:44 AM
#26316   John Pinette pos_stock_hoarder 09/26/19 04:22:18 PM
#26315   Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/26/19 11:48:29 AM
#26314   I have a reputation at work for being getmoreshares 09/25/19 02:39:29 PM
#26313   A woman calls her mother. getmoreshares 09/25/19 02:38:48 PM
#26312   Rules For Hunting Lawyers SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/25/19 11:43:57 AM
#26311   If you mixed vodka with orange juice and SHORENUFFSTUFF 09/25/19 11:42:13 AM
#26310   https://assets.amuniversal.com/ca181350bb0b0137be3e005056a9545d pos_stock_hoarder 09/24/19 02:21:03 PM