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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 7/21/2018 5:09:23 PM - Followers: 555 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#24870 mnfats 07/21/18 05:09:22 PM
#24869   The Greatest Military Joke Ever Told. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/21/18 09:16:44 AM
#24868   Husband and wife were having a discussion about getmoreshares 07/21/18 09:03:16 AM
#24867   "This is shit," I said......................... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/20/18 01:27:28 PM
#24866   From Craig List. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/20/18 09:49:57 AM
#24865   Found my car up on blocks this morning. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/20/18 09:44:02 AM
#24864   My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/19/18 08:12:02 AM
#24863   Yup, double standard indeed. Flobewan 07/18/18 04:34:48 PM
#24862   A man can sleep around, no questions asked, mnfats 07/18/18 04:13:59 PM
#24861   Hey - Thanks Flobewan. mnfats 07/18/18 04:12:36 PM
#24860   OMG, LMAO Flobewan 07/18/18 04:02:57 PM
#24859[dog_kick.jpg mnfats 07/18/18 03:58:55 PM
#24858 mnfats 07/18/18 03:57:41 PM
#24857   I have the same problem. mnfats 07/18/18 03:53:46 PM
#24856   Blind guy walks into a lesbian bar by SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/18/18 08:23:16 AM
#24855[of180718.gif[/ PappaJohn 07/18/18 06:55:26 AM
#24854   They say two heads are better than one. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/18 01:58:48 PM
#24853   Funny, yet so true. PappaJohn 07/17/18 09:14:12 AM
#24852   A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. Quintessence 07/17/18 09:08:17 AM
#24851   I think I've been hacked by Russia!! SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/18 08:48:51 AM
#24850   On my first day in prison, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/17/18 08:45:18 AM
#24849   A blonde calls her Doctor, frantic! SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/16/18 10:01:09 AM
#24848   Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted Quintessence 07/16/18 07:56:11 AM
#24847 Giovanni 07/15/18 12:50:14 PM
#24846   Couple goes to see a marriage counselor... SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/15/18 10:13:44 AM
#24845   Guy goes to the doctor with a headache. SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/15/18 10:07:59 AM
#24844   A tourist in Hawaii is amazed at how SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/15/18 10:05:42 AM
#24843 Autocorrec PappaJohn 07/14/18 07:14:48 PM
#24842   A commercial property owner has three shops in mnfats 07/14/18 04:04:55 PM
#24841 mnfats 07/14/18 04:02:28 PM
#24840   Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot Quintessence 07/14/18 01:18:31 PM
#24839   My colleague can no longer attend next week’s SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/14/18 09:51:58 AM
#24838   Back in the good ole days in Texas, SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/14/18 09:36:54 AM
#24837   One day two blind men started fighting. Pretty soon Quintessence 07/13/18 05:32:18 PM
#24836   Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf excel 07/13/18 03:40:00 AM
#24835   All I said was don't buy underwear at SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/12/18 12:00:11 PM
#24834   I have three kids named Ctrl, Alt and SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/12/18 11:48:27 AM
#24833   I knew it! pos_stock_hoarder 07/12/18 10:57:55 AM
#24832   Have you ever noticed the irony behind SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/11/18 10:10:27 AM
#24831   Little Johnny to friend: SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/11/18 10:04:35 AM
#24830   #MeToo movement targets German language as sexist Giovanni 07/10/18 08:16:15 AM
#24829   Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed mnfats 07/09/18 03:13:51 PM
#24828[/cha mnfats 07/09/18 02:59:48 PM
#24827   Interesting picture. Wonder what the real story was? pos_stock_hoarder 07/09/18 02:59:23 PM
#24826 mnfats 07/09/18 02:56:52 PM
#24825   He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/09/18 12:19:14 PM
#24824   What employee evaluations really mean: SHORENUFFSTUFF 07/09/18 12:17:54 PM
#24823   Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup getmoreshares 07/08/18 05:06:48 PM
#24822   Our Lamaze class included a tour of the getmoreshares 07/08/18 05:06:19 PM
#24821   LOL-- good ones. getmoreshares 07/07/18 07:13:22 PM