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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 12/18/2018 9:39:14 AM - Followers: 554 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 1

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: http://www.investorshub.com/boards/boards.asp?cat_id=123 "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#25476   A stuffy matron is with a new man SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/18/18 09:39:14 AM
#25475   https://investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/12/17/dgjctNativity.jpg[ PappaJohn 12/17/18 06:14:23 PM
#25474   Snow: the only time three inches can keep SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/17/18 04:09:09 PM
#25473   Little Hope was practicing the violin in the getmoreshares 12/17/18 12:42:53 PM
#25472   The teacher said, “Take a pencil and paper, getmoreshares 12/17/18 12:42:32 PM
#25471   That's a good one, ShoEnuff .. !! SleighRidin'Larry 12/17/18 09:06:30 AM
#25470   It was a cold Christmas Eve and a SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/17/18 09:04:03 AM
#25469   A woman joins a country club. When she SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/17/18 09:01:32 AM
#25468   A man went into a bar and said Quintessence 12/16/18 05:44:59 PM
#25467   Four brothers left home for college, and they Quintessence 12/16/18 05:24:14 PM
#25466   Bobs reality ............. excel 12/16/18 02:16:55 PM
#25465   What do you get if you cross a SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/15/18 10:51:58 AM
#25464   ESTATE PLANNING 101: SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/15/18 10:49:33 AM
#25463   Why do some accountants become actuaries? SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/15/18 10:47:58 AM
#25462   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2013/12/11/yqsxkSanta.JPG Flobewan 12/15/18 10:17:09 AM
#25461   A lady went into the grocery and asked getmoreshares 12/14/18 04:41:23 PM
#25460   Today at the gym I asked a girl SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/13/18 09:06:49 AM
#25459   A French guest in a New York hotel SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/13/18 08:54:14 AM
#25458   An English Gentleman travels to the USA. SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/13/18 08:45:50 AM
#25457   This year for Xmas, I'm giving out lotto tickets. SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/12/18 09:39:59 AM
#25456   The big chess tournament was taking place at Quintessence 12/11/18 07:38:56 PM
#25455   I used to work with a guy who SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/11/18 11:09:54 AM
#25454   Here's an in your face response to "Them" Gmenfan 12/10/18 05:59:18 PM
#25453   "I think we can clearly see how ridiculous getmoreshares 12/10/18 05:05:48 PM
#25452   Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 12:10:03 PM
#25451   Words and phrases with two meanings SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 12:07:22 PM
#25450   An Old Pilots Wisdom SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 12:06:05 PM
#25449   A newly married man asked his wife... SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 12:04:44 PM
#25448   A woman was having a passionate affair with SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 12:01:56 PM
#25447   Show me a man who claims to be SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/10/18 11:44:02 AM
#25446   Golly sdheart! Are you trying to force back2basics 12/10/18 10:48:06 AM
#25445   Perfect! Gmenfan 12/10/18 09:58:17 AM
#25444   You got it! pos_stock_hoarder 12/10/18 09:50:51 AM
#25443   Since radio stations decided to pull “Baby it’s sdheart 12/10/18 09:12:22 AM
#25442   :-D pos_stock_hoarder 12/09/18 06:59:37 PM
#25441   NICE- what a good idea! getmoreshares 12/09/18 05:25:20 PM
#25440   What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? getmoreshares 12/09/18 05:09:49 PM
#25439   "I haven't been able to perform in bed SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 12:11:16 PM
#25438   A redneck boy runs into his house and SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 12:09:27 PM
#25437   If roles were reversed: SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 12:06:09 PM
#25436   Idle hands are the devil's workshop Giovanni 12/09/18 11:29:14 AM
#25435   "Still plunking your magic twanger? " back2basics 12/09/18 11:26:44 AM
#25434   Now THAT'S a groaner! :-) pos_stock_hoarder 12/09/18 10:43:44 AM
#25433   Still plunking your magic twanger? Giovanni 12/09/18 10:38:57 AM
#25432   A Viking named Rudolph the Red SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 07:38:40 AM
#25431   A beggar is standing in front of 7-11 SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 07:27:55 AM
#25430   Death in the Supermarket. SHORENUFFSTUFF 12/09/18 07:26:21 AM
#25429   Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a MiamiGent 12/08/18 10:08:00 PM
#25428   "We used to play spin the bottle when Gmenfan 12/08/18 05:03:06 PM
#25427   investorshub.advfn.com/uimage/uploads/2018/12/8/hhjtnthumbnail67.jpg[/cha mnfats 12/08/18 04:12:42 PM