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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 6/24/2018 9:54:54 AM - Followers: 555 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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#24783 pos_stock_hoarder 06/24/18 09:54:54 AM
#24782   The teacher had just finished reading a story mnfats 06/23/18 04:34:48 PM
#24781   About a century or two ago, the Pope Quintessence 06/22/18 07:35:19 PM
#24780   I avoid eating fruit. I hear it's Quintessence 06/22/18 04:29:53 PM
#24779   !!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL getmoreshares 06/22/18 04:25:15 PM
#24778   If you had to choose between your significant mnfats 06/22/18 02:57:24 PM
#24777[/c mnfats 06/22/18 02:46:34 PM
#24776   What part of a vegetable cannot be eaten? getmoreshares 06/22/18 12:40:04 PM
#24775   I’ve been looking at my ceiling and while SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/22/18 12:00:45 PM
#24774   1 liners SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/22/18 08:37:29 AM
#24773   Do you know what really grinds my gears? SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/21/18 10:55:56 AM
#24772   I was going to post a time-traveling joke... getmoreshares 06/21/18 08:46:42 AM
#24771   The landscaper was listing some possible PappaJohn 06/20/18 09:42:39 PM
#24770   The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a mnfats 06/20/18 04:02:49 PM
#24769   I laugh when people say you don't need mnfats 06/20/18 03:53:49 PM
#24768   :-) pos_stock_hoarder 06/20/18 09:36:08 AM
#24767   Bag Boy SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/20/18 08:53:50 AM
#24766   I saw a golf cart parked in a SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/20/18 08:53:18 AM
#24765   An English teacher reminds her students of the SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/20/18 08:47:52 AM
#24764   A married fellow gets home early from work SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/20/18 08:46:48 AM
#24763   Not guilty... SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/20/18 08:45:45 AM
#24762 Giovanni 06/19/18 03:17:50 PM
#24761   You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When… SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/19/18 11:35:50 AM
#24760 Giovanni 06/19/18 11:06:13 AM
#24759   :-D Shot for telling the truth! pos_stock_hoarder 06/19/18 10:23:15 AM
#24758   Lawyer: “Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/19/18 10:11:02 AM
#24757   A woman had a problem with her closet SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/19/18 10:09:47 AM
#24756   Tip off Giovanni 06/18/18 10:38:03 AM
#24755   " Giovanni 06/18/18 08:07:46 AM
#24754[thumbnail6.png[/char mnfats 06/17/18 03:38:56 PM
#24753   A guy goes to the Post Office to crudeoil24 06/16/18 11:58:28 PM
#24752[/char mnfats 06/16/18 04:31:31 PM
#24751[/char mnfats 06/16/18 04:24:34 PM
#24750   “Did you have any idea that SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/16/18 07:18:27 AM
#24749   Actual news headlines - SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/16/18 07:05:41 AM
#24748   That's a good one! Gmenfan 06/15/18 01:21:25 PM
#24747   I was sorta waiting for somebody to post PappaJohn 06/15/18 01:06:31 PM
#24746   A couple in their nineties are both having nwsailor 06/15/18 11:18:13 AM
#24745   You know when you get the urge to Giovanni 06/15/18 10:40:44 AM
#24744   LOL great comment Giovanni 06/15/18 09:01:10 AM
#24743   Great! It may not be apparent to some. Gmenfan 06/15/18 07:19:13 AM
#24741 PappaJohn 06/14/18 03:26:24 PM
#24740   The Earth means the world to me. SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/14/18 10:40:34 AM
#24739   Gender neutrality: 2.5/5. “Ze and hir” is the Giovanni 06/13/18 12:43:22 PM
#24738 pos_stock_hoarder 06/13/18 10:29:23 AM
#24737   :-D pos_stock_hoarder 06/13/18 09:34:19 AM
#24736   Dictionary - SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/18 09:05:59 AM
#24735   A rich old lady's birthday is coming up... SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/18 09:03:40 AM
#24734   Why do men die first? SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/18 08:55:45 AM
#24733   The one thing that drinking has taught me SHORENUFFSTUFF 06/13/18 08:55:27 AM