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Any Good Jokes? (JOKES)

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Last Post: 1/22/2018 1:05:12 PM - Followers: 555 - Board type: Premium - Posts Today: 0

Post your best ones here...

Please, not too blue. Remember, our children may be reading these, too. And language...what is "adult language?"...if it is wrong, it is wrong.

Politics are a cause of concern for many who come here to escape the antics of the political playground on the Potomac. As such, politicals should be posted on boards specializing in politics: "The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected."~Will Rogers We've the right to Freedom of Speech, but with rights comes responsibilities. Please be responsible by choosing the right forum / board for politics. JOKES is for laughs, not political propagandizing, please. The main criterion for politically out-of-bounds is (but not necessarily limited to): Jokes in which a candidate or political party is the butt of the joke is off-topic and subject to removal. It may be funny as all get-out, but alas, this isn't a campaign thread and IHub has boards specializing in politics and some anything-goes boards. JOKES is for laughs for the masses and humor for all who bless us with their presence.

Not only jokes, but if you have something uplifting that may lighten the load or brighten the day, feel free to post it.

Have something ironic or thought provoking?

Thank you for stopping by.

DISCLAIMER: The humor contained within does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my wombat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute these jokes and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission from Major League Baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humor offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; Best viewed at 1024 x 768 pixels, safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation,or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes;do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating E-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Keep away from water and small children. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

#24117 PappaJohn 01/22/18 01:05:12 PM
#24116   Many years ago Playboy had a section on back2basics 01/21/18 03:55:00 PM
#24115   Donald Trump was recently asked " do you SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/21/18 12:12:54 PM
#24114   Seniors Personal Ads SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/21/18 11:40:50 AM
#24113   Should I laugh or cry? excel 01/21/18 12:41:55 AM
#24112   His voice is about to go up a pos_stock_hoarder 01/20/18 04:26:50 PM
#24111 mnfats 01/20/18 03:12:35 PM
#24110   Does anyone know what the SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/20/18 10:12:08 AM
#24109   $5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter excel 01/19/18 07:46:20 PM
#24108   That's great .... Where was that 30+ years Gmenfan 01/19/18 05:37:37 PM
#24107   Overwhelmed parent? Try Naptime! Quintessence 01/19/18 04:36:23 PM
#24106   Now we know.... PappaJohn 01/18/18 07:50:32 PM
#24105   SMACK or SLAP is a quick fix. getmoreshares 01/18/18 06:51:31 PM
#24104   Shaving with a razor takes a lot of SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/18/18 03:49:01 PM
#24103   Translation: you can not say "no" to your child. Giovanni 01/18/18 02:36:47 PM
#24102   All I’m saying is if you wake up... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/18/18 01:22:42 PM
#24101   A linguistics professor was lecturing his class: "In SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/18 12:55:16 PM
#24100   Thoughts and prayers to everyone in Hawaii… SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/18 09:00:35 AM
#24099   The wife checked her husband's phone and found SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/18 08:47:41 AM
#24098   During a quarrel... SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/18 08:44:51 AM
#24097   Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/17/18 08:42:27 AM
#24096   OMG! Venus and Mars BIG TIME! pos_stock_hoarder 01/16/18 02:24:03 PM
#24095 been meaning to say hi. [and all copytele 01/16/18 01:23:53 PM
#24094   I doubt liquor is the answer.................. SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/18 11:19:56 AM
#24093   An elderly couple are playing together in the SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/15/18 11:13:27 AM
#24092   LMBO! pos_stock_hoarder 01/13/18 07:13:12 PM
#24091   That's great!! Gmenfan 01/13/18 06:26:12 PM
#24090   Curling, anyone? e-ore 01/13/18 06:05:57 PM
#24089   A teacher decides to let students go home e-ore 01/13/18 05:57:41 PM
#24088   Not only did you have to walk over Gmenfan 01/13/18 08:51:27 AM
#24087   Gmenfan, Some really good ones ! back2basics 01/12/18 07:05:07 PM
#24086 Giovanni 01/12/18 05:48:43 PM
#24085   O.J. Simpson this weekend denied long-running rumors that Giovanni 01/12/18 02:12:07 PM
#24084   1. My goal for 2017 was to lose Gmenfan 01/12/18 12:32:27 PM
#24083   It was hard times for two ventriloquists. Very mnfats 01/11/18 03:53:15 PM
#24082 mnfats 01/11/18 03:47:17 PM
#24081   Yes. I thought that was the one flaw excel 01/10/18 10:26:38 AM
#24080   $1.50!? I'd be making $150 a week pos_stock_hoarder 01/10/18 09:27:19 AM
#24079   Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the excel 01/10/18 01:18:53 AM
#24078 mnfats 01/09/18 01:59:17 PM
#24077 mnfats 01/09/18 01:58:01 PM
#24076 pos_stock_hoarder 01/08/18 02:33:33 PM
#24075   I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. back2basics 01/07/18 07:00:24 PM
#24074 mnfats 01/07/18 01:53:10 PM
#24073[/char mnfats 01/07/18 01:50:52 PM
#24072 mnfats 01/07/18 01:49:09 PM
#24071   Rejected Children's' Book Titles - SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/06/18 11:49:38 PM
#24070   LOL. Gmenfan 01/06/18 04:32:57 PM
#24069[/chart mnfats 01/06/18 03:05:21 PM
#24068   In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched SHORENUFFSTUFF 01/05/18 02:38:53 PM