A reading now from the Book of Bamboozle
Chapter One
1. Thus it came to pass that Hayseed went unto Sodom and the Lord called him to the top of the mountain. There, the Lord spoke unto him saying, "Lo Hayseed, lookie yonder for down there, no idiot, further left, is where you shall drill an oil well."
2. And Hayseed said unto the Lord, "Doh. I aint got no drillin' and testin' bucks Lord. You want I should go back and whup up a private placement memorandum and sell us some units from a stack of D&B cards?"
3. And the Lord said unto Hayseed, "No you idiot. Forget that boiler room shtick. I want you to go back unto the land of Texas and there you shall find a man named Ivan Webb. H shall showeth unto you the means and manner whereby you call call the sheep forth and shear them closely."
4. "But Lord" cried out Hayseed, "How shall I shear such sheep when I have no shears, no bucks, and no help." And the Lord answered him, "Look idiot, just go home, hook up with Ivan and he's gonna hook you up with something called a 'Kit Karson' public shell. From there, thous shalt pump and dump stock. Fear not about pumping oil for it is given unto you to pump stock instead."
5. And so it came to pass that Hayseed did return unto the land of Texas, where he pumped and dumped. Then he pumped some more. Then he dumped a lot more. Then he pumped again. And he dumped some more.
6. And the faithful who had followed Hayseed were like unto sheep. They were shorn tightly and had no coats left to shield against the winter winds. And it came to pass that their coats grew back but Hayseed once more left them shorn.
7. And when he was long in the tooth Hayseed was stricken and the Lord spake unto the fruit of his loins, Sha, and anointed him as the new King of Mt. Sodom and gave unto him the keys to the Kingdom of Ness.
8. And it came to pass that the SEC reports which Sha's vizeer was to cause to be filed with Pharoh were not etched into the 10K and 10Q tablets and low, the kingdom was delisted and ruin fell upon Ness.
9. Then the Lord spoke directly unto the sheep as they lay sleeping, appearing to them in their sleep. And he said unto the sheep, "BUY - BUY."
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Oh yeah, buy some NESS. It's very Biblical you know.
