Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I put my foot down.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.

I got a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work.

I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.

I've been told I'm condescending. (that means I talk down to people)

Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’t meet the koalafications.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.