The guy who invented "Take Your Child To Work Day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work. $53.a night at the No Tell Motel. I asked Why so cheap? He said, Do you mind making your own bed? Sounded fine until I saw the wood and nails I had a fight with my shoelaces this morning. It ended up in a tie. Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" have a "Use By" date? I was walking down a street & this HOT woman says, 'OMG. You're hot!!! Do me right now!' It's true...You can ask Brad Pitt, he was right behind me. I saw a woman earlier today who had no chin and all I could think about was how does she put pillow cases on? When I dance, people think I'm looking for my keys. I just bought a $5 frappuccino at Starbucks and got a free 2 week supply of napkins and sugar. I guess it balances out.